A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi,me and my ex broke up because of some misunderstanding,but it was so clear that we still loved each other,i kept regreting why we did that until i met this guy that swept me off my feet,he was so gentle and nice.we got to know each other for a long time and now we're dating,i love him so much.since then it just seemed like the love i had for my ex just faded away.recently me and my ex,we've been real close.he loves me and i gave him the impression that i still love him.he wants us to get back together(even though he has a gf)he's willing to end it with her if i say yes.but i cant end it with my bf because i love him so much and moreover the last thing i want to do is break his heart.even though i still have feelings for my ex,i dont want to date him anymore and he's going to be so crushed.how do i tell him,how do i let him know in a way that he wont be disappointed? Pls help me,i really need your advice!
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male
reader, lostboy1121  +, writes (13 December 2010):
I am coming right out Good a breakup with a girl I liked a lot. The only thing I asked that she did was give me the honest to God truth about everything I did wrong so that I could know for myself what I needed to work on. I appreciate honesty. It obviously depends on the Guy you're wanting to tell this. What is his personality? Does he have Anger issues? Does he take things really well? If you know him this well you should be able to figure out how he'll take this news the best. If he insists on honesty and you know he wont get mad then tell him the truth. Does he know you're dating the other Guy? I appreciate honesty over trying to protect my feelings. Think of some past experiences where you've to tell him stuff you didn't like...how did he react? Need more help let me know. If you want to tell me more info you can. But I think all guys want girl to tell them what they really mean instead of making us guess. It's frustrating.
A
female
reader, k_c100  +, writes (13 December 2010):
 Telling someone that you dont feel the same is never going to feel good, there is no nice way to say it and of course he will be disappointed. But you are hurting him more by leading him on and pretending that he still has a chance with you - so all you can do is end it now and explain that you are with a new guy and you wont leave him.
Try and do it face to face as this is kinder than over the phone or email. And just explain that it is over for good, and of course you still care about him but you have moved on and are happy with your new guy. Wish him all the best for the future and then say goodbye - and dont have anymore contact with him. If you keep in touch you are just stopping him from moving on and being happy, so the kindest thing you can do is to not talk to him anymore.
Sorry I cant help any more than that - of course he will be crushed and there is no way to prevent that. But keep in mind you will hurt him more by keeping him in your life and letting him think you still love him, that is very wrong and will hurt far more than you being honest and telling him that you wont be leaving your boyfriend for him.
I hope this helps and good luck!
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