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How do I tell his mum I would prefer my OWN engagement ring and not this family heirloom?

Tagged as: Dating, Family<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 April 2010) 4 Answers - (Newest, 26 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi, I have a bit of a dilemma and i could do with some input.

My boyfriend's mum phoned me today and we had a lovely chat for over an hour, in which she asked me whether myself and my boyfriend were planning on getting married. I told her that it was our plan to at some point in the future, though we weren't sure exactly when. She then said that she had a ring which was her aunt's engagement ring, and she was getting it repaired and re-set, and she wanted me to have it if i wanted it. she said if i didn't and would rather have a new one, then it was fine and she would sell some old jewellery she didnt want to help my boyfriend pay for a new one for me. it was such an amazingly kind gesture and i was totally overwhelmed.

The problem is, there is a ring I saw in a little independent jewellers about 9 months ago, which i completely fell in love with. it was perfect, and exactly what i wanted.

this is my dilemma, I don't want to appear ungrateful in anyway, or snub the incredible offer (both generously and sentimentally), as the family heirloom would mean the world to me, but i really had my heart set on the ring i saw in the jewellers.

I don't know what to do, and i would really appreciate some input. thank you so much in advance, xx

View related questions: fell in love

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 April 2010):

Hmm, here girls get two rings... They get one when they get engaged and one when they get married. (The guys only get one when they get engaged though)

If that applies to your culture too, maybe it'd be a solution for you too :P

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A female reader, Tigerlily United States +, writes (24 April 2010):

I think you could be honest with the mom about your conflicted feelings. She seems very cool.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (24 April 2010):

Tisha-1 agony auntIs it possible to turn one ring into the wedding band and the other as the engagement band? That way you get both the old and the new, the past and the future together as one.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2010):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Just to clarify, the problem is that i want both rings but in different ways, i love the style and look of the one i found, but sentimentally the heirloom would mean more. So which should i go for?

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