A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:the guy i love has loved a girl for 15 years,and he told me that he wants to forget her,and that he thinks that im the one who could make him do that..can anyone please tell me how?please can you help me think of something?i wanna sweep him off his feet! Reply to this Question
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female
reader, Nataliemarie  +, writes (27 October 2009):
You are setting yourself up to get hurt. Your going to invest all of yourself to a man who has a long emotional history, and is using you as a rebound. He may be into you, but I cant tell from what you have written. A man should do the sweeping, not the woman! Anyway good luck - and remeber put urself first not him! If he wants to forget this women he shouldnt see u as a tool to do that. He needs to find himself first.
A
male
reader, Markingbad  +, writes (27 October 2009):
 Maybe you should be thinking more about what happens when he no longer needs you for support.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 October 2009): Your being a rebound used just for free sex right now.. Men chase women and impress us not the other way around.Sounds like hes feeding you lines of BS.. Dump him he needs to get over her. Which he wont for many years because she dumped him.. You should be yourself and have some class and dignity and tell him (This is me thats it this is what and who I am take it or leave it).... But you should just stop taking his calls. Is he buying you flowers, making a fool of himself to impress you, taking you out to dinner to meet his family and friends etc. I bet not... Hes not into you the in love way, hes just afraid to be alone. he wont be getting married anytime soon, so if you want to, and if you want kids this guy wont go for it.. Hes probably online now readinghow to get his ex back. So sorry but you should move on I know its a lot easier said than done but dont go out of your way for him youll find out soon enough... His sweet nothings and just nothings...
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A
female
reader, sabgriff  +, writes (27 October 2009):
don't lift a finger. give yourself some respect. let him do the "sweeping." also, 15 years is a long time... maybe he needs more time to get over this woman. you are bound to be a rebound if you become so eager to please him because he will know that you have fallen for him already. he will be proud of it and will always be in the driver's seat. so please be more careful with your feelings. don;t let it all hang out.
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A
female
reader, devastated2008 +, writes (27 October 2009):
 Oh please don't even try... that is a line a mile long. Please don't fall for it.
Aside from the obvious age issues and the likelihood that he's married or barely out of a marriage that defies normal male/female dynamics. It is typically the mans role to "sweep" a woman off her feet and if he wants you he should be sweeping YOU off your feet or the sweeping should be equal.
If you fall for this you will be running behind him in a constant state of insecurity... always trying to prove that you are good enough, better than her and then in the end you will fail. Because really he is seeking his own gratification at your expense and when you need it reciprocated he'll be gone.
Generally, for a man to truly feel like a man he needs to feel like he has earned you... if you truly want him to be swept off his feet... well then make him work for you. Flirt, smile, don't cling, be confident and happy-look at him like he's got potential and that maybe he MIGHT be the one for you... so that when/if he gets you then he KNOWS that your valuable and that he needs to be his best to keep you.
And if he is married run like heck from him (divorcing doesn't count...married is married until he has that paper in hand)... he'll never be good enough for you if he's willing to use you.
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