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How do I stop questioning if someone likes me or not?

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Question - (27 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 27 July 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 51-59, anonymous writes:

I'm beginning to think I may need to seek help for self-esteem issues. Two months ago I started a relationship with a guy I really cared for. From day one I was constantly questioning myself about if he really liked me or not and found myself endlessly looking for evidence that he didn't - anything from him having female friends on facebook or taking too long to reply to a text message. Each time I would feel myself getting angry and defensive and I would text him to say you clearly don't want me. He would reply and reassure me and tell me I was being daft. Over about 2 weeks I noticed that he was contacting me less and less and I sent him another text that made it very clear that I didn't want the relationship to continue. He apologised for the lack of contact and explained clearly why he hadn't been in touch as often (due to illness) but I still couldn't take him at his word. Now I have lost someone I cared very much for because of my own insecurities. I find it impossible to talk to him and explain this so there is no chance of him taking me back. I just want to stop feeling like this everytime I meet someone as I feel I am never going to be able to have a relationship. Any tips on how to overcome this will be greatly appreciated.

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (27 July 2010):

I think you need to see a counsellor. I think if you look back to some time earlier in your life, you were deserted once and it's lived with you since. Sadly, your actions have probably pushed him away to a point where he won't want to come back.

Now, you can fix your insecurities. But you need to be willing to put effort in. I think you should see a counsellor, or even just sit down and write a timeline of your life with important moments, specifically where you were hurt or deserted by someone. The answer to your insecurities lies in your past somewhere, and you need to find out what it is and confront it.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 July 2010):

is this my ex? u sound very much like her. if so,no hard feelings. Why not say this to him instead of acting and trying to impress? if u want someone to want to be there y not stop making them not want to and be straight. ur behaviour is very difficult and may have come accross to him as too demanding. its early doors yet so get in touch an stop actin. he doesnt know u very well yet so if he see`s u r different its early enuff 2 repair.

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