A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:I had a very intense year long LDR with a guy in the army and I finished it at christmas time. I was totally head over heels for him but I couldnt trust him and he was always messing me about.Now someone else has walked into my life and Im thinking about dating him. Hes lovely, kind and nice looking. The best bit is we get on great. But my ex is always in the back of my mind. I still have feelings for him and as bad as it sounds I know that if he was to come back and beg forgiveness and promise he would change then I would take him back. But I know this will never happen. So Im wondering how I can stop thinking about him now and then, stop comparing this new guy to him (i find myself doing this on many occasions)and just basically let him go from my life so I can move on and enjoy a erlationship with this new guy. Me and my ex are not in contact anymore. Ive deleted his number and his facebook. But every now and then a song, a smell or something will remind me of him. Or I will get flashbacks of us together. The worst time is in bed at night when Im alone I sometimes think of him. He really broke my heart and I know I did the right thing finishing with him. So why cant I just get over him?
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male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (15 March 2012):
 Don't get involved with someone else unless you're willing to give him, in the immortal words of Gerry Adams, "your fullest attention". I think you'll end up dumping this new guy. You're not over your ex yet.
A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (14 March 2012):
 You just arn't ready to move on and nothing can force that. Your ex is no more, the only thing you are holding onto is the hope and fantasy that a life with him would have been perfect. The reality is that it can never be perfect because there was too much wrong with him.
If you start with the new guy you will probably end up hurting him and that isn't fair. Let him go and find someone who wont compare him to an ex and will get to know him and have a relationship with him fair and square.
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