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How do I stop being so negative about his new boyfriend? And how do I deal with the insults and such?

Tagged as: Friends, Teenage, Three is a crowd, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 June 2012) 2 Answers - (Newest, 1 July 2012)
A female United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Ok, so I have been friends with this guy for about two years. And at first we have hated each other, because he would always make fun of me. After being paired up together for a project we have been best friends ever since. He is so awesome, he has made me come out of my shell so much, and I care for him a lot for that. And we have a ton of fun when we're together, we hug, wrestle, dance etc together. Yet there are times he insults me, mostly its about my weight.(sicne I am a bigger girl) He tells me if I lost weight that he'd kiss me..not go out with me, but that I would be hot and be more fun if I lost weight. And for that my friends HATE him. Of course the this hurts and also it doesn't help that now he's going out with someone. mostly when I hangout with him,i'm the third wheel, they always kiss and stuff, and now its getting to the point where he only talks about his boyfriend. It hurts a lot and he tells me that I am selfish and negative. How do I stop being so negative about his new boyfriend? and how do I deal with the insults and such?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (1 July 2012):

aunt honesty agony auntHe is extremely hurtful, if he was a proper friend he would not make nasty remarks about your weight, this really is not nice and friends just not do this. I am assuming that he is gay therefore I think he is just teasing you when it comes to him saying he would kiss you, and also someone does not become more fun if they lose weight. He will tear you down and make you feel self concious therefore I think you should listen to your other friends and stay away from this guy, he is no good for you.

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A female reader, ImmortalPrincess United States +, writes (23 June 2012):

ImmortalPrincess agony auntThis friendship isn't good for you, at all. Listen to your other friends, they are completely justified in their feelings about him, he is destroying your self esteem. A true friend would encourage you and lift you up, not tear you down. Since he has a boyfriend, I am guessing that he isn't into girls, anyway. Walk away from him, you don't need friends that find amusement in insulting you.

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