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How do I say I'm interested him and don't want just sex?

Tagged as: Dating, Long distance<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (2 November 2015) 2 Answers - (Newest, 2 November 2015)
A female Australia age 30-35, anonymous writes:

A couple of weeks ago, while I was on a little holiday with friends, I met a guy who was on a family holiday from New Zealand. We hit it off really well. We kissed and basically enjoyed each others company without having sex. My friends approved of him. They were the ones who introduced us actually, the boys had met him the night before on a club crawl.

I didn't think that we would ever see each other again because we didn't exchange numbers, and he said he didn't have favebook. Then a couple of days later he made a new facebook and added my friends, as well as his NZ friends.

My friend and I have decided to fly over in January to stay with him for a week. But, there's always but, i'm nervous because I barely know him even though i'm attracted to him. He is someone that I would consider dating, but im worried that he might just be hoping to have sex.

I can't decide between telling him now how I feel, that i'm attracted to him and would like to get to know him on a deeper level, or just see how it goes.

Is it too soon to be like, "hey, I think you're cute and funny and my brain likes your brain" ? How do I approach it? How do I word it? Being a young adult female and finding a guy that actually likes you back is so difficult

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (2 November 2015):

I think you should play it cool and see how it goes. You think you like him and that’s a start but you’ve got to get to know him to find out if you work together. I would say that if these feelings are still there after the visit, then discuss it with him if he hasn’t brought it up but be clear exactly what you want: to date and take it slowly. There’s no point in presuming he won’t respect that or is just after sex until you’ve actually got some evidence to show you that this is the case: he makes a move all the time, doesn’t accept a no or doesn’t show much interest in you as a person. So say nothing, find out who he is and then you’ll be able to decide if it’s worth telling him of your attraction.

I wish you all the very best.

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (2 November 2015):

supermum agony auntI would just keep talking to him. Allow the conversation to go naturally and you can try and steer it towards what he is looking for when you come over. Maybe ask what would happen if you got serious?

Keep talking... you'll get your answer xxxx

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