A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Ok there is this girl that i used to like a lot and she used to like me a bit but not as much and now i have got over it but i always had a soft spot for her if you know what i mean. this girl and i drifted apart a bit and werent as close friends but now we have become much closer and i have started to like her again but i dont think she likes me and i dont want to tell her as i dont want to ruin our friendhip and start all over again. i am starting to really like her again and want to be more than friends. What shall i do? i feel like giving up on relationships and women as the nice guys never seem to get the girl. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, xnickx  +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Your question is false :D nice guys can get the girl.
Mostly, what girls want isn't a nice guy, or a not nice guy. It's confidence.
Bad guys have confidence because they know whatever happens with their relationships, they wont really care because there will always be someone else coming around the corner.
Nice guys on the other hand tend to devote too much time to one girl, which makes them lose sight of all other potential girls, and when their efforts fail they think its because theyre nice and then trap themselves in the vicious cycle of lacking confidence.
Anyways, thats not really answering your question but i think it might help.
Romany is 100% right with what she said, so ill add to her answer and say it may show some confidence if you take the 50/50 shot, and remember that even if you get the 50% that you didnt want, thats one girl, and if she isnt willing to return the time investment that you're putting into her, then its time to find someone who will.
Best of luck, and if you have any other questions ask :)
Nick.
A
female
reader, peggypoo +, writes (17 July 2010):
My friend, i am in the same position as we speak. For three years Ive been friends with a girl i like. I always showed respect and occasionally a flirt and a compliment. Finally i decided to make it obvious that i am into her and now shes like "Im seeing someone and besides i value our friendship and thats all." Now she forgot that we follow each other on twitter and there is not one mention of her seeing someone to her best friend and you know girls always show off a new love. Yet, there is this freaking gigolo who hits on every girl including the girl i like and she responds to his remarks like "#FF" (favorite freak), "hey hoe where you been" and she responds "thank you for making me a favorite freak". And i know she sees how he hits on everyone including her friends. Like you say, the nice guy gets nowhere.
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A
female
reader, romany +, writes (17 July 2010):
 Well i figure you got 2 options, you can keep repressing your feelings for her, for the sake of the friendship, which in no doubt will bring frustration and possible resentment toward her as you'll not be being true to yourself.
Or, you could tell her, you have 50/50 chance that she'll be happy to become more than friends, and if she says no, theres no saying the friendship will end, but at least you'll know and either be able to go forward with her, or to look elsewhere.
My way would be to tell her.
Good luck.
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