A
female
age
36-40,
*elly483
writes:Me + my fwb i told him i was a virgin + b4 we i told hin we did stuff + now i told him he feels bad + that he has ruined my first time by doing what we did we havent slept with each other what can i say 2 him 2 reasure him that he hasnt ruined any thing 4 me + that i wanted 2 happen i just dont know Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2009): Plainly, this guy is feeling guilty for being your first. And he fully understands the concept of 'how important' it is for a great many females to love and care about their first sexual partner. And having a boyfriend who loves them, as well.
All you can do is keep reassuring him.
Personally and in my own opinion, I have some issues with FWB arrangements. Sex between two people always creates a bond, no matter how discussed up front it is. People go into this with just the feeling that 'mutual orgasms' is all they want out of it. Who are they kidding? Eventually, one person always feel a stronger bond, because they share such an intimate closeness with someone. And the one still just wants the sex..nothing more. And then there are people who use this FWB situation as a ruse, because they are secretly strongly emotionally attracted to the other.
I hope you and he developed some rules before entering into your FWB arrangement. No actual dating each other, no gifts and no other socializations, other that being a 'booty call' for each other. And most importantly, before this starts, you both need to agree upon and decide how it will end. If starting out as friends, the goal is to end as friends. Set boundaries about what happens should one of you actually find a genuine love interest and decides to leave this FWB arrangement. But you need to use your head and sincerely consider wisely, what may be lost for you emotionally, if you continue in a 'Friends with Benefits' arrangement. Good Luck
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