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How do I please my family but still have a life?

Tagged as: Family, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (15 August 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

well i need some advice but where do i start.?

i live at home with my mum step dad and brother and sister.

sometimes i only just get on with my family, but the majority of the time we're always arguing.

my stepdads and alcoholic, he doesnt drink all the time but when he does its seriously scarey.

hes always told me from a young age that he doesnt love me and he wishes he didnt take me on when he married my mum.

he hits me quite a bit, and usually leaves marks, ive convinced myself and others that its all my fault.

i do everything in my house i wash, iron, clean, wash dishes etc. i pay 200pound rent a month too and im only 17. i find it so hard to have a life when all i do is try my hardest to please my family.

what should i do. i cant leave cos i dont want my step dad to treat my brother or sister the way hes been treating me for 11 years.

please help. x

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (27 August 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntHow could he find out if you call Childline? It's a freephone call and will not show up on any bills. You could ring it from any phone and it's a free call. He needn't find out anything.

I'm sorry to hear that things are not going well for you. You asked us for help and really you need to help yourself by calling someone who is trained to help people in situations like this and can actually do something to help. Here we're just printed words in cyberspace.

Womens Aid might also be able to help; they deal in domestic violence situations all the time and have the trained counselors too.

Why not make that call? It seems such a simple way to get some concrete help.

I wish you good luck whatever you decide to do to help yourself. Best wishes.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

I cant call child line or anything like that.

If he finds out he'll go mad.

we had a huge row and ive got a month to get out ofmy house.

Im scared and lonely everyone i know is leaving me.

:@:@:@

GOD SAKE.

Thank you all for your help though i read ur advice everyday, it keeps me going.!

x

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States +, writes (16 August 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntWow, you are really in a very difficult situation. I'm very concerned about the physical abuse from your step-father. I expect your mother doesn't know about it, or is unable to help you? I think this is too difficult for an amateur agony aunt to help with. I think you should reach out for some local help. I have two websites and freephone numbers that should be able to direct you to local resources so that you and your siblings can have the protection from abuse that you deserve.

Here they are, don't be shy or embarassed to contact them. They are there to help and have lots of experience.

Take care, and let us know how it goes.

-------

Womens Aid-The premier resource for domestic violence and sexual abuse against women and children in the UK. Got a massive range of support services from “safe refuges” for those most at risk to just plain old sound advice. Site is awesome but friendly and welcoming so not surprising some victims feel more reassured just visiting it.

http://www.womensaid.org.uk

0808 2000 247 (Freephone)

Childline-Most famous kids Charity in the UK with a very child-friendly website. Childline deal with all sorts of problems involving kids. Quote from their website:

"You can talk to ChildLine about anything - no problem is too big or too small.

"If you are feeling scared or out of control or just want to talk to someone you can call ChildLine.

"Some of the things that people phone about are feeling lonely or unloved, worries about their future, problems about school, bullying, drugs, pregnancy, HIV and AIDS, physical and sexual abuse, running away and concerns about parents, brothers, sisters and friends, and crimes against them.

"Whatever your worry, large or small, we're here to offer advice and support. When you are ready. “

Call ChildLine on 0800 1111.

http://www.childline.org.uk

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