A
male
age
26-29,
*usic lover
writes:Hello I'm 23 and gay I'm a very shy and introverted person and I was wondering how do i who's socially withdrawn low self esteem and afraid to meet other guys with whom I chat online overcome this fear and gain more confidence when meeting guys?
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confidence, self esteem, shy Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (8 May 2019): You can't over come a fear without facing it unfortunatley. You won't get more confident sitting at home. It only comes with experience and practice. Just make sure you meet up in a public place, let someone know where you're going and other safety measures.
I agree with the other poster, let people know you're shy. Lots of people are shy, and most people understand shyness. If you just come out and say it, it might take some of the power of it away.
A
male
reader, Music lover +, writes (8 May 2019):
Music lover is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you very much for your advice much appreciated
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (6 May 2019):
 1. By actually NOT talking for more than a couple of weeks online with them before meeting them.
2. Being mindful of YOUR safety when meeting up. So meet in a public place, make the meeting short (30-45 min). Do not accept rides from the guys or go to a secondary location. Meet up, have a cup of tea/coffee/ice cream/sandwich - chat a bit and then leave. You can ALWAYS meet a second, third, fourth etc. time if you get on in person.
3. BY actually MEETING them. It's OK to tell them BEFORE hand that you are shy, that way they know that ahead of time and if they are interested in getting to know you they will HELP you carry the conversation.
4. Practice. Use a friend to practice your small talk.
5. PAY attention. If the guy you are talking to online likes "insert music/movie/food/travel destination" then THAT is a great topic. Get HIM to talk by ASKING the questions.
6. PAY attention. If you talk to a guy online and he does things (like asking for nude pictures or sending you some of himself) DO NOT waste time on meeting up, simply block and move on.
7. TAKE your time getting to know the other guy. Even if you hit it off like a house on fire, TAKE your time getting to know him before you start anything intimate.
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