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How do I move on from the hurt my old boyfriends caused?

Tagged as: Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 February 2005) 1 Answers - (Newest, 28 February 2005)
A , anonymous writes:

Hi

I could really do with some advice, im 37 have 2 children, whose dad i split with 3 years ago. While i was with him i put on some weight after having our second child, and very often he would call me names or refuse to sleep with me cuz he reckoned i was too fat.

About 14 months after we split i had a relationship with another guy , by then id lost the weight and became a curvy size 14, this new guy once while he was drunk told me that i needed to loose some more weight, and also cheated on me. Im not ugly, but after this i just lost all my confidence.

* months ago i met someone else and he is just the most wonderful guy ive ever known. I love him and he tells me that he loves me, he loves the way i look, loves my body and we have a great sex life and have lots of fun.

The problem is that because of these past relationships, ive no confidence, no matter how much my new guy tells me how great i am, i just cannot see it, i feel ugly and ashamed of my body.

This results in me being worried all the time that he will end our relationship, if he goes out im thinking he will be looking for someone better and leave me and also that he will cheat on me. Deep down i know he wont, but i tie myself up in knots worrying about it, i feel so stupid, but i think i just feel so much for this guy that i cant bear the thought of loosing him. This is kind of taking me over at the moment and i want to be able to trust him, but i cant seem to let go of what has happened in the past.

Will this haunt me forever???

I know these guys were just wothless and obviously are well shot of now. But how do i move on from it? Im also worried that my guy will get fed up of me not trusting him and dump me anyway.

Im sorry this letter is quite a long one, so i appreciate anyone taking the time to read it.

K

View related questions: cheated on me, confidence, drunk, move on, sex life

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A reader, shirley, writes (28 February 2005):

You'v obvisously been knocked for six by previous relations, but relax, this guy sound genuine! You have to learn to "like yourself" again, I'm sure you did at some point in your life. Don't let a couple of idiot's that once shared your life ruin the rest. Your guy who tell's you he loves you, love's your body etc acutally means it! He's not blind or stupid, he knows what he like's and he know's what he wants, so believe him, you are (and always was)this beautiful person that at last is being appreciated by someone.

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