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How do I make myself attractive to my husband?

Tagged as: Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 December 2008) 1 Answers - (Newest, 14 December 2008)
A female United Kingdom age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I don't know what to do.

My husband (only been married 18 months) and I hit a rough patch. Basically since i met him ive had bulmia and serious eating issues. he has helped me through them and ive got loads better, im really proud of myself,(that's the very short version, lies, lots of crying and unattractive truths also included)problem is, i pushed him away in the process and lost so much weight i don't think he finds me attractive anymore. He talks to me like im a little girl and i play up to it (not in a sick way, more like how we show affection, you know we play and stuff like that.)It all came to a head in september. He met a girl on a work trip, whilst i don't believe he did anything sexually with her, they had a connection, she made him realize how unhappy he was. it broke my heart. all my insecurity rose to the surface.he came back crying and saying things must change. we are getting on much better, no more arguing, but we can't seem to move to the next level. life is better, but we havn't had sex since september. im like his friend. he is working like crazy and we work in the same industry so its all we talk about really. i want the passion back. i have been lying there in sexy underwear or naked on the bed and he carries on talking to me like he doesn't see me.im desperate to be wanted. how do i make him want me, ive tried talking to him, tried asking about fantasies or watching stuff on telly,he just isn't interested. sorry if im rambling. im only 23 and feel 45. the other problem is im a popular, good looking girl. others want me but why doesn't he??

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A female reader, sandra78 United States +, writes (14 December 2008):

I can understand your situation. First of all.. You can wear all the sexy lengerie in the world, but it you are not comfortable with yourself.. As clearly you arnt, being as that you have an eating disorder.. You will not be sexy to him either. You need to realize first that you are already perfect for him.. He married you right. Relationships have rough patches.. That's enevitable.. It will pass. Be patient, let him know that you are still attracted to him and want more intimacy in your marriage. Being open and honest is the best path for a great relationship.

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