A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My mother suffers from a lot of anxiety and has had a history of depression and is dependent on alcohol. She's going through a rough time right now and a lot of her anxiety comes from not having much money.Her boyfriend puts her under a lot of pressure and makes her anxiety worse. He encourages her to smoke and to go out drinking with him (which spends money) even when she doesn't really want to, but then makes her feel bad if she gets drunk, and sometimes won't speak to her for days, which makes her anxiety worse.She recently had a small car accident which made the car off-the-road until it's fixed and recently he's been using her car for work because he's too cheap to get his van fixed (which she paid half for in the first place!).He's always taken advantage of her but if I ever mention it she just says that he'll pay her back but he never does. She literally cannot afford this anymore and this makes her anxiety so much worse.I try to help financially by buying groceries but I can't really afford to as I'm a student.How can I make her see that she'd be better off without him in her life?
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female
reader, Dear Mandy +, writes (17 June 2012):
 HI
Sadly you cant :( the only way things will change is when she is ready to admit that this is a problem. yOU NEED TO PUT YOUR ENERGY into your studying you are the child she is the adult.( you know what I mean) I appreiciate you want to be there for your mother, but this could also be a part of depression, no mother wants her child to look after her as it should be the other way round, she may feel sad that your having to handle this aswell. Being single aswell as depressed and skint also probably scares her, so she puts up with her boyfriend so as not to be alone. ( I know she has you, but its not the same thing) I personally feel you should focus on your studying and just help out around the house when you can, course work in its self is demanding, my daughter is doing her science level 3 and I know how hard it is for her to keep up with all the extra course work,so you must be going out of your mind. Your mum is a grown woman hun, she will eventually sort this out, trust me when I say there will be a day the light will switch on and she wont put up with it any longer. I hope this helps.
Mandy xx
A
female
reader, Sammia +, writes (17 June 2012):
Unfortunately people don't listen when it comes to their partner. You can go on about him until you are blue in the face it will make no difference. All you can do is be there to pick up the pieces. She will learn in time.
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