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How do I make it up to him?

Tagged as: Online dating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 January 2016) 2 Answers - (Newest, 12 January 2016)
A female South Africa age 36-40, anonymous writes:

I have a HUGE crush on a guy I met in Tinder. We went on one date and it was MAGICAL. We have been speaking for a long time, and I have so much respect for the person I have come to know on a virtual level. I am attracted to him mind, heart and body.

We were about to go on our second date and I was going to stay over at his place 2 hours north of my city. I asked my mom if I could borrow her car and travelled to her place 2 hours south of the city to pick it up.

Due to a misunderstanding my mom was, at that moment at my place dropping the car off. What's worse is, she did not have her cell phone with her as she had left it with my two older nephews.

So I am down in the country, and her place, NO WAY to get hold of her, nowhere I can rent a car and my nephews are at the theme park (only half an hour south of my home) not being clear about what is going on "she's on her way to you" they keep saying.

The woman owns two cellphones but leaves one with the kids and one at home for NO reason other than the fact that she was my age in the years when it was ok not to have a phone on you.

I am panicked, I am struggling to get hold of her, doing every everything I can, but not communicating with my crush as I am so busy trying to communicate with my mom - calling my land landy who dropped her plans to see if Mommy came through to my place.

Mom meanwhile decides that the best thing she can do is just stay and wait outside my place for 1 and a half hours waiting for me. So I get myself back to where my nephews are and wait for her, but then it is a story of dropping them home safely first etc and long story short I could not go.

I do not know what possessed my mom to bring the car to me, we have NEVER done it like that in the past. I get that it is the most logical thing but my mom being her crazy illogical self I always merely add copius amounts of cushion time, and try to make things as easy on her as possible. We had NOT discussed the logistics of me taking people home etc. Basically mumzo has never been organized and I survived childhood by lying about the time I had to be anywhere and I have obviously grown up to be Miss Half and Hour Early as a result.

But this screw up was a masterpiece, even for Mom.

Never mind. It is my fault, too. Semantics being what they are we misunderstood the words "there" and "home".

Meanwhile, back at the ranch I stood up the sweetest guy on the planet. I REALLY like him. The last thing I want to do is show up as Miss Disorganised Doesn't Care About You.

It has been impossible to see him since aa first it was his birthday, then Christmas, then he had to go to the other side of the country, then he had to do a workshop then he had to be back at school ( he's a teacher in a different province).

Ok so it has been crazy and it is not his fault and I don't want him to associate me with the upset of being stood up.

I see that he is still on Tinder and seems he is still talking to girls, which I totally get and if he does get snatched up by some chick, then f*** it the chips have fallen where they have fallen.

I believe he still likes me as we often talk. I am trying not to do the chasing. I have considered the whole " moving on" (if one my use such a big phrase for a relationship that was in it's infancy) but screw it. I like him. I have liked him since we started talking and haven't found anyone else to be as interesting so I am gonna risk it. I'll wait a little bit to see what happens.

I did apologise and I have asked him to let me make it up to him.

I don't know how much of it is busy-ness and how much is the doubt that he wants to be with Miss Chaotic Date Screwed Upper... I think it is a healthy combination.

BUT assuming that I do get a chance to make it up to him, do you have any creative ideas as to how I could do that?

Romantic/ Erotic / Sexual or just plain kind. I just want to change the association in his brain with me as Chaotic back to when he thought of me as what I really am : together mostly and usually a capable adult. This situation was out of character and I just made few bad judgement calls, is all.

I guess what I am saying is, I am SUPER embarrassed about making a bad impression so early on and would love to adjust it if I can, and if I do see him again, how can I tweek it back in my favour?

Thanks

View related questions: christmas, crush, talking to girls

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A reader, anonymous, writes (12 January 2016):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Hi Denizen

OP here

Thank you for that succinct and beautiful answer. It sounds like exactly the thing my crush would say!

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (12 January 2016):

Denizen agony auntJust meeting you and having the opportunity to take you out and wine and dine you should be enough. You could offer to pay for a nice bottle of wine. If you were thinking of a gift don't be too ostentatious. It's just a gesture.

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