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How do I live with my best friend when I love him?

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Question - (21 November 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 22 November 2010)
A male United States age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey guys, Im aaron and Im 19. I live in an apartment with my best friend dereck, we've been friends basically from birth. We're really close so we're really open with each other. I'm gay, and he knows that. And he claims he's straight. But the thing is I've told him that I had feelings for him in the past, but when he started getting awkward a little I told him I got over it. But I never got over it. I'm still lusting over him. I'm in love with him; we know everything about each other and we get along so great. That's how close we are. And it's harder for me now because we actually live together. It's hard not to think about my feelings for him. He basically teases me all the time. He helps me with my problems, reassures me, hugs me tight and sometimes kisses me on the cheek. And he's not afraid to walk around the house naked with me there, it doesn't bother him. It's like he wants me to rape him.(Just joking :/)I have really deep feelings for him and I don't know how to keep them bottled up anymore. What should I do? I don't want to mess up our amazing relationship. But I want him so bad.

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A female reader, Dona Suncha United States +, writes (22 November 2010):

Hi Aaron - Oh to be 19 again ... well Aaron - it sounds like you and Derek do have an amazing non-sexual relationship. I like how you say he "claims he's straight." I hear some doubt ... Is that becuase you don't want to believe he's straight or you have reason to doubt. Whatever the reason, he is either playing REALLY hard to get, or he really is just comfortable with the relationship as it currently stands. If you really want to find out - without being the one to show his hand first - get yourself another man - bring him around and don't discuss him too much with Derek. If Derek starts reacting, he will be the one to show his cards and you can react from there. If not, then you saved your non-sexual amazing relationship and hopefully found an amazing sexual one as well. -- Hope it all works out for you - and don't forget to stay protected!!! -- La Dona

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