A
female
age
41-50,
*racie123
writes:I recently moved from the town where I'd been living for 5 years. I was in a long distance relationship with a guy ("Bob") for 2 years, and we have been broken up for 1 year. In that time, I started a relationship with another guy ("Steve").I got into graduate school in Bob's city, and moved there. I had become less than happy with Steve, I like him as a person, not as a boyfriend, but since I was leaving town, I just had a fun time before I left. We both agreed we didn't want to do long distance, so I assumed when I moved, we were through. There was a TON of drama with that relationship and it was largely kept secret, which was stupid and immature I suppose. In any case, I sort of felt like I was moving away and putting it behind me.It didn't take long before Bob and I were back together (actually a scarily short amount of time!). Long distance was tough, but in the same city, we really hit it off and things are great. I've been trying to fade out Steve, talking to him less and less, twice a week, then once a week, then less. It's been 2 months. He called (we hadn't talked in over a week) and said he wants to come visit. I really don't want to hurt his feelings, or tell him I'm back with Bob (who he met back in the day--yikes!). I thought we had a good understanding of things, but apparently he's pining for me. So p />I thought I could tell him I don't want him to visit because I don't want to be in a long distance relationship (totally the truth--I HATED it); I could tell him I'm seeing someone else but not specify. I'm just not sure what to tell him to not hurt him, and I'm afraid I will no matter what...
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female
reader, L*  +, writes (30 September 2009):
be honest and tell him that you've started seeing someone. Don't tell him that you're seeing Bob as it will hurt him even more.
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