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How do I know if this girl had sex before me?

Tagged as: Sex, Virginity<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (24 August 2014) 9 Answers - (Newest, 27 August 2014)
A male India age 36-40, anonymous writes:

hello,

I have a girlfriend. last month i had sex with her,this was my first time.after did the sex lot of confusion created. according to my girl friend she was also first time but during sex i seen her membrane had already broken and vagina is loose. i think she had sex with someone previously, so give me suggestion i want to know that she have sex or not or its my perception.

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A female reader, Lonely 81 Australia +, writes (27 August 2014):

Just wondering, if this was your first time then what are you comparing her vagina to? How do you know her vagina is any looser or tighter then any other vagina?

A women's vagina is designed to give birth to a baby and still go back to its oringinal size (in most cases) so sex isn't going to chance it. The idea that virgins are "tight" came from them not being ready for it. If a women (virgin or experienced ) is comforatable and willing to have sex her vagina will became moist and relaxed to accommodate her partner. You should be please that your girlfriend was relax and comfortable when she was with you.

You should trust your girlfriend, in the same way you would like her to trust you.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2014):

If there was any trace of bleeding,even a smear of blood on your dooda when you pulled out, then yes definitely she was virgin. But again not bleeding doesn't mean she is not virgin because some girls have flexible hymens.You just have to believe her.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States +, writes (25 August 2014):

So_Very_Confused agony auntit's your inexperienced perception and insecurity that is causing you to feel this way.

IF she said she was a virgin then you have to trust her.

IF you don't trust her, then do her a favor and end the relationship now. NO woman should have to be with a partner that accuses her of lying, has retroactive jealousy or is so insecure that he can't believe the truth.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (25 August 2014):

Honeypie agony auntHow do you know? YOU trust her.

Not having a hymen is NO proof. Neither is being "loose". That would be like saying that men with smaller a penis has had a LOT of sex or not enough.. It makes NO sense.

The size of her vagina is a variable as the size of a person's feet, ears, fingers... It's a MUSCLE and doesn't become "loose" from having sex.

Don't be so ignorant.

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A male reader, CMMP United States +, writes (25 August 2014):

If it was a big deal why didn't you wait for marriage? You have to take her word for it or not, but her vagina won't tell the whole story.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2014):

How does she know you haven't? You're not married and you're having sex, who's to say you haven't done it before? That's right, you say you haven't. OP you're asking her to trust you haven't while not being able to prove it, so she deserves the same respect don't you think?

As for the hymen that can be broken by tampons or falling over. Also vaginas are supposed to be loose when they're aroused, and guess what? The size of women's vaginas vary as much as penis size does in men.

OP with all due respect to a man who has just had his first sex, from a man who has done it thousands of times with tens of women, don't ever think you know anything about a woman's sexual history from how her vagina is. They come in all kinds of wonderful shapes and sizes, unless you physically see another guys sperm seeping out then you'll never be able to tell whether it's been penetrated by a penis before.

Now that you know, don't be a hypocrite. You want her to trust you when you say you were a virgin she deserves the same respect. You can't prove you're a virgin can you? So why does she have to prove it to you because the first time you get to mess with one it wasn't like you expected?

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A male reader, macloverdoc Turkey +, writes (24 August 2014):

macloverdoc agony aunthonestly my friend

you can never know. even doctors can't know if it's newly occurred. some sexually transmitted disease could be evidence to sexual intercourse happened before which nobody wants that happen to you or your girlfriend right?

I mean relationships are all about trust so if you trust her don't dig it man. past is past! digging could cause fights,trust issues,braking up I think it makes us unhappy man. I hope I've been helpful... happiness to you both

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014):

My suggestion is either believe her or leave her alone. For what reason would she feel the need to lie to you? and for what good reason would you feel the need to examine her anatomy? and for what reason would a vagina be loose after having sex?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 August 2014):

Why does it matter to you anyway? When I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time I was a virgin and he wasn't. Also looseness doesn't mean she's not a virgin and the membrane can be broken lots of ways such as by riding horses or bikes. I've had sex many times and are still very tight. Maybe your girlfriend is just naturally loose.

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