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How do I know if my coach likes me and what do I do?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (14 May 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 16 May 2017)
A female United Kingdom age 13-15, *livia4881 writes:

I think my coach likes me but i dont know? So basically ive known the lad for half a year its got to the point where i think he likes me.I was training and he turned up.when it came to a couple of months later,i started to notice he was complimenting me all the time and looking at me, but as i notice him he looks away going red faced.the other 2 coaches know he does this as they seen it today.today we did 3 hours of training,when everyone went i stayed outside with the other coaches,he comes out.he walks over, stands really close to me.He asks me wether im good at kicking.I said ye.he gives me a ball and asks me to kick it from the 22 into touch,i kick the ball,turn around to see the other 2 coaches and him watching me.I walk back over and he says its the best kick he has seen from a girl.He passes me another ball but he makes sure i either skim his hand or touch him.We went from kicking to passing,me and the 3 coaches were passing the ball around. He and another coach stepped out.There was me and a coach.We were passing the ball to eachother and he kicked the ball up waiting for me to get it.I jumped, caught the ball but turned around and seen him smiling at me.I smiled back and went back to passing the ball.But the coach who i was passing with came running over and said that hes staring at me.He came over,stood next to me and started talking to me,he showed me how to pass without moving my hips but he was looking straight into my eyes.I felt something there between us.He then took me away to kick again.He showed me the proper technique and watched as i kicked the ball.But in the club there was loads of seats and he came and sat next to me.We got talking again but every now and again he would stop and just stare at me.It was obvious then to the other coaches who messaged me privately about it instead of saying it where he is.They asked me to do something.I got up and went to the bar to get a drink and the other coaches were watching him all the time.Apparently he watched my every move and looked me up and down now and again.iwent back and got talking again but this time he got closer and turned to face me.My knees/legs were inbertween his legs,we were so close about 10 mins later it was time to go we all stood up,said our goodbyes and went but just before he went he came and gave me a hug.But i noticed that he followed me home.And i asked him why he did that and he just said he wanted to make sure i got home safe.I what to know what others think i should do or if he really does like me or not? But yes i do like him and wonder if he likes me to? What ate the signs that are shown by men who take an interest or liking to you?

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland + , writes (16 May 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntSweetie I think you need to give us your age and his age before we can give you any good advice.

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A female reader, CoreMessage United Kingdom +, writes (15 May 2017):

CoreMessage agony auntGirl, no. Sorry for the rudeness, but this isn't happening. You're young, so you're new to the whole dating scene, but surely you know that this cant happen?

How old is he? Because if he's 18+ then that is creepy and you need to tell someone. He STALKED you?! No matter what age, that's creepy. Tell your parents instantly.

Please don't try to pursue this! This will not end well for you. Stop it now before it gets worse.

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (15 May 2017):

I'm glad the other coaches are watching him. You are just a child, and too young for attention from anyone more than two years older than yourself. Everyone here is trying to give you good advice, but when a 13 year-old girl gets a crush it's like talking to a rock. Nothing you say really penetrates. She only wants to see what she wants to see. Boys are easier, because they don't get so into it.

Nothing you described is healthy for you, and totally wrong for a grown-man around children. Your crush doesn't mean anything, and you are much too young for someone his age to even think about in a romantic way. That is considered pedophilia, and it is a crime if you are only 13-15. I believe the legal-age is 16 in the UK. Even if you were 16, he is not supposed to exhibit inappropriate behavior towards his team-members. His position as a coach is a position of authority. He is trusted by you, your team, your parents, the school he works for, and the other parents.

If he likes you as a good athlete and sees your potential as a good player, that's wonderful. If he touches you in any inappropriate way, he is a sick criminal. I hope the other coaches are watching closely; because you are too young to tell anyone when he has done something inappropriate, and you might protect him. Seeing you as anything but a child and good athlete is wrong. Whether you like my answer or not.

Men are not supposed to like young girls under 16. They are supposed to like women close to their own age.

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A female reader, Ivyblue Australia + , writes (15 May 2017):

Ivyblue agony auntSweetheart just how old is this 'man'? Because if he is anywhere over the age of 15 at the most you are in dangerous territory here. 18 + and this is in no way acceptable. Not just because of age but because of his role as a coach. put both of these together age+position and you may well be in the company of a pedophile. At the tender age of 13-15 it is easy to let your feelings of liking a boy get in the way of being able to recognise true intentions. This is what they do, prey and trick young males and females. So good at it even sometimes they trick parents and other adults into thinking they are 'good' people for their children to be around. I think it is very wise to speak to your parents about whats happening and how you are feeling.

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A male reader, Phil052 United Kingdom + , writes (15 May 2017):

Phil052 agony auntThis is a very serious situation. All coaches of sports teams involving children are placed in a position of trust and have to go through police checks to be able to coach children. You must not encourage him at all, and you must speak to a parent or senior coach about his inappropriate behaviour. The club will have a child welfare policy that all coaches have to sign up to.

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A male reader, N91 United Kingdom + , writes (14 May 2017):

N91 agony auntHow old is this coach? How old are you?

Following you home sounds VERY inappropriate and creepy if he's over the age of 18. To be fair it sounds creepy full stop regardless of age.

This is NOT something you should be trying to pursue. You are far too young for this kind of thing and you should know better to think this is acceptable. Have your parents never told you that adults who like children are dangerous people?

If this keeps up, you need to tell your parents.

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