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How do I keep my boyfriend interested when I'm gone on holiday without him?

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Question - (8 July 2012) 8 Answers - (Newest, 9 July 2012)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

I'm going on holiday in a couple of weeks. My relatively new boyfriend isn't going with me. It's for two weeks and I'm a little worried that he'll lose interest when I'm not around. We haven't actually been too sexual with one another yet and I'm wondering is this a good way to keep him interested while I'm away? What else can I do to make sure he won't forget about me? It's because the relationship is so new that I'm worried... Although I know we really like each other. He says he'll miss me when I'm gone, but I'm just not sure. I do have trust issues from previous encounters with him. Please help!

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A female reader, babyorange  Korea - Democratic People's Republic +, writes (9 July 2012):

Don't have sex with him only to tie him with you. Don't do that girl, you'll probably extremely regret that.

My ex bf of 4 years, I love him dearly, I want to do evertything to make him happy, but when he asked for sex, I reject that because I think I was too young before when I'm 18 years oldm.

There's once when we are quarreling so bad and there come to my mind to give him sex as he want to make sure he's always love me and never leave me.

Unfortunately, when he agreed, I change my mind because deep inside I don't really ready to do that. I just can't give my virginity to people only for a reason.

Now I'm so grateful that I'm still virgin and we are now broke up because I knew that he's a sex freak, he has find bitches out there when I don't want to have sex with him.

I suggest you to keep contact with him while you're away, just as possible as you can afford. Do you know his friends? Does anyone of his friends can give you accurate information about him?

Keep in touch with his friends too, chat with them cassually and ask them what they know about your bf activity when you're away.

That's what I done now with my bf.

Told him that u trust him and hope that he won't dissapoint you. If he really can't control and loyal to you while you're away for couple weeks, he s not worth it for you.

Believe destiny and trust him. Support everthing he does so he won't hide anything from you.

Hope this help. All the best for you :)

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A female reader, PerhapsNot United States +, writes (9 July 2012):

PerhapsNot agony auntIf you're in a relatively new relationship, there is no need to go out of your way to keep his interest. If he needs to be manipulated and if he needs extra work in the beginning, can you imagine what you will need to do when you're 5, 10, 0r 25 years together?

Frankly, you shouldn't be doing anything at all. You're just getting to know each other, there is no need to do more to keep a man interested. He either is or he is not. Judging by your thought patterns and your plans, I'd say that you're very insecure and desperate to keep this man. If you are, you better cut it out, or else he will loose interested in being with someone that is an insecure desperado.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (8 July 2012):

chigirl agony auntTrust issues from previous encounters with him? Could you please elaborate?

I think it's as simple as this: if he loses interest then he wasn't all that into you, and you can find better. If he's already given you reasons not to trust him, in just the short time you've been together, then maybe you should trust your gut feelings and say pass on this one.

Just go on vacation. Then see what happens when you get back. It'll be a great test to see if he's genuine about you, or just fooling around. Someone who is genuinely missing you will be anxious to see you again, meet you as soon as you get back home, try to text you or e-mail you while you are away etc. Maybe you and him can send texts?

If he's not interested in keeping communication with you while you are gone, and appears uninterested in seeing you when you come back.. then I'm sorry to have to say that he wasn't genuine about you.

Just try to text each other in between while you are away.

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A male reader, The Realist Canada +, writes (8 July 2012):

The Realist agony auntTwo weeks isn't that long to be gone, if he is going to lose interest in that short amount of time then he really isn't the guy for you.

It would be nice of you to plan a nice date for when you get back so that you two can spend some time together. Other then that you really can't do anything physically for him that will keep him occupied for two weeks. That's just not how guys work, he would just want more.

This should really be a test for the relationship, if he fails then get rid of the guy. People spend too much time worrying about what could happen instead of letting things happen.

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A female reader, Shawtyinlove United States +, writes (8 July 2012):

Shawtyinlove agony auntYou should not feel the need to keep him 'interested' . if you feel like he loves you than you should be able to spend a holiday away. thanks just my Opinion.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (8 July 2012):

You're just going to have to trust him. And if he loves you he will wait for you, and not just run off with the first available person.

Trust in relationships is everything and without it, relationships don't really work.

All you can do really while your away is keep in daily contact with each other, if you hear the others voice on the phone 2-3 (or more) times a day you'll start to realise how much you miss each other and that will make you grow fonder of each other more so that by the time you're due to go home you will have a built up excitement of seeing each other. (Cheesy I know lol but it works)

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A male reader, no nonsense Aidan United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2012):

You could phone or message him a couple of times during the holiday, that wouldn’t do any harm. But honestly, if he does lose interest after 2 weeks then wouldn’t you be better off without him? If you really think that he’s going to forget about you within 2 weeks then you shouldn’t even be with him. And another thing: don’t be pushed in to anything sexually because you think that’s what you need to do to keep his interest: you’ve not got to act against your better judgement, or try to be some-one other than your true self to keep a man interested, he either wants you or he doesn’t. So, a few calls or texts whilst on the holiday would be nice, but don’t spend your time worrying about him. Enjoy yourself and remember that he should still be interested when you get back and that’s not something you’ve got to work at. And if he isn’t, he’s not worth it.

I wish you all the very best and a pleasant holiday!

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A female reader, AuntyEm United Kingdom +, writes (8 July 2012):

AuntyEm agony auntAs a society we really need to educate girls that having sex with a boy IS NOT the best way to keep him interested, neither is it a guarantee that he won't lose interest and change his mind, but for some reason a whole generation has grown up thinking that having sex immediately is enough to make a boy like them....it makes me sad because young women have so little self esteem, hate their bodies because they cannot compete with air brushed media images.

We are teaching young men that if they put enough pressure on young women that they will be forced into having sex even if they do not feel ready.

In England we have the highest rate of teen pregnancy in the whole of Europe and it it purely because we are raising girls that think having a boyfriend from a very early age is the only thing that matters and is the only thing that will make them valid and happy.

This post demonstrates the level of thinking that is infecting our younger generation and it's a recipe for future misery, more unwanted babies, low self esteem and an increased rate of mental illness and dependency.

Do I think you should have sex with your boyfriend so he doesn't forget you whilst your on vacation??...Nope because I know it won't make a blind bit of difference.

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