A
male
age
13-15,
anonymous
writes:Me and my girlfriend have been dating for three days. We met online, and she lives in Canada, while I live in the United States, she lives about nine hours away.I'm the kind of person that starts to love someone faster than you should, which always causes me to get heartbroken after a girlfriend dumps me, but this time.. she said it first. Yesterday on the second day she told me she loved me.. and I had to say it back because I do too, but with this long distance, I don't want her to cheat on me.We're both virgins and never done more than kiss another person. She and I have been doing great so far, we get along well, and we agree everything, we have so much in common. I really don't want her to cheat on me, and if she does... I don't know what to do. How do I keep her from not doing anything with another guy if she loves me? I trust her, and she trusts me... but accidents do happen.. if she does should we break up? We got into a conversation about me driving up there ASAP, and she said she would love it.. but I can't drive yet.. which she knows, but if it lasts that long, do I drive up there if she has cheated on me?Even if we last a really long time and things go great.. I won't know what to do when I get there, do we have sex the first day?
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both virgins, cheated on me, heartbroken, long distance, met online Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Skater_Gurl108 +, writes (25 July 2008):
 ok dude i'm 14 but i know how you feel on long distance relationships. i've been dating a guy for almost 9 months. but anyway, just watch how she acts when she talks to you and if she starts acting different you need to find out what is going on because alot of people think that if they are in a long distant relationship, they can cheat but it is still the same because once a cheater always a cheater so watch how she acts!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI guess there's more to tell, well we have both talked on MSN, with a mic, and a webcam.
Also I was the one that mentioned me driving up there because I'm almost 16, and well... there was an incident.
She stayed up late one day and while we were talking I picked out something was wrong right away, she was acting strange. I asked her what was wrong, and she told me it was just natural.
I asked her if she wanted to talk about it, and she told me that sometimes for guys she really likes, if they say something or do something, she gets horny. So while we were talking about that I mentioned that it would be better if she weren't, so I told her to try masturbating.
I guess she did I don't know for sure, but when she was 'done,' I told her that if we were together in a year still I would try driving up there and give her the good time myself.
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A
female
reader, deejuliet + ♥, writes (24 July 2008):
 OH my gosh red flags are flying all over the place here! First off you dont love someone when you have only known them 2 days, and most especially if you have NEVER ACTUALLY MET THIS PERSON!!!! That she is telling you to come visit right away is another huge red flag. How do you know she even is what she says she is? She may be a 45 year old man trying to lure you out of state to rape you!!! Rein in those horses and please proceed with caution!
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A
female
reader, HonningKanin  + ♥, writes (24 July 2008):
 Hi,
There is absolutely nothing you can do to keep someone from cheating on you. They ether do or dont to many peoples dispair.
Now if you trust her, leave it at that. If you trust her you have no reason to worry about her cheating because trust implies you know she wont do it. You can't say you trust someone, but then worry about what they are going to do. Thats not trust. Dont even bother about the mistakes that may happen, because if your faith in her is true and she is true to her word, those mistakes dont happen. If you keep thinking and bothering yourself with these ideas you will not enjoy your relationship because you will always be paraniod she may stray. She either does or doesn't unfortunatly and as I said before if she is true then it wont happen.
As for when you first meet, you guys are very very young still and live very far away. Even though sex is a great way to express your love to another person ask yourself if you can deal with the consiquences of a pregnancy? What could you do and how would you feel if you got her pregnant?
Yes you could use contraception, but they fail sometimes. I would ask you wait a few more years, if anything to be 100% sure that you are in love and that your relationship is true and you no longer have this fear of her straying.
Good Luck
HonningKanin
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A
female
reader, Tremor  + ♥, writes (24 July 2008):
 Short of tying her up and locking her in a closet, you can't. If she's going to cheat on you, she will. You can't control her actions, which is why trust is such an important part of a realtionship.
As for having sex - don't. You're too young and should not consider it for good few years at least.
I think you may be a little too invested in this . You've only been dating her three days. Chill out.
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