A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Dear Agony Aunts,I having been dating this girl for quite a while now and mostly everything is going great. However, I am still afraid to talk to her about the sexual fetishes I would at the very least like to try, if not integrate into our sex lives more often. I have a high sex drive and want to be more adventurous, but I am scared to talk to her about all the things I would like to try. I am worried she might be put off by them or think I am homosexual, or that I am just way weirder than she though I was. Is there a good way to approach the subject? Any advice or experiences to share would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2014): I would let it be known your desires. She may be in your life for a reason cause God wants you to have the desires of your heart and needs met. I would advise like the other post intergrate it slowly not all in one whap. Also alot of us women would rather do untraditional stuff with you and aleast try and see instead of you not doing it and being cautious or cheating to have the need met. Also too if you want a women to do it whatever it is anal or dildo play its nots gay cause its between man and women. Now if you partake in anal or dildo play and she fears you will do that with a man cause she is not a man and feel she cant compete with the fellows. This is a trust issues and it can be work out too if you two communicate and be honest and open. I would go for it all she can say is yes or no or maybe so. Also it many make you two closer and your relationship stronger.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 June 2014): Original poster. For those who feel they need more info, here is an answer to your question. Firstly, I would never force her to do anything she is uncomfortable with. Scondly, my fetish desires range widely, but the all involve her being dominant while I am the submissive. I want to try, but have never done, small things like blindfolds and handcuffs to more submissive things like strap-on penetration and sounding. However much I would like to try these things, I first need to talk to her about them. Yet, I had no idea how to approach the conversation.
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A
male
reader, olderthandirt  +, writes (20 June 2014):
 A. your fetish is yours not community property-She may not be "into" your fetish so get over trying to integrate it. Can't two people just do what they do in the conventional ways.
And 2. If you attempt to force something on her be aware that she has every right to send you packing.
Lots of luck you will need it.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie + ♥, writes (20 June 2014):
 I agree with Cerberus, it would help if you mentioned what it is you would like to try.
Honestly though, I think talking kinks, fantasies and sexual adventures is always a good thing to share over a glass of wine. DO NOT lay it ALL out on the table. One thing at a time from you then let her share. Who knows where it can go from there.
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (20 June 2014):
 You COULD say to her: "Say, Lovely Lady, let's each of us make a list of our Top 10 kniky things that we'd like to try with one-another.... then, as we compare them, start in on those that we have in-common."
Works for me, every time......
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2014): We kind of need to know what they are, OP. You say homosexual does that mean you want your ass penetrated or something? Because the fact you want to act out sexual fetishes with a woman kind of says you're not.
The best way to approach it would be to ask her about hers or things she'd like to try, bring up the subject that way and just ease her into the more vanilla ones first and see if she's as adventurous.
You'll be able to tell from hers and her reaction to your minor ones whether she will be and then you just talk to her about them.
That said you haven't said what they are, some things even the most open minded of women will think you're insane for thinking and sometimes that can completely change a person's opinion about you too.
Like wanting to add a dog to equation or something, you know? We need specifics.
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