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How do I honestly Communicate to my boyfriend that he does not make me a high enough priority?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (6 December 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 6 December 2009)
A female United States age 30-35, anonymous writes:

HELP!!! How do I honestly communicate to my boyfriend that he does not make me a high enough priority?

He really does adore me and always tries to do everything possible to make me happy. Lately he has been caught up with his new band. He loves music and I know that being part of a band is who he is and never want to take that away from him. I also don't want to be the bitchy girlfriend who demands a lot. However lately I feel that he has kinda pushed me to the side because he is so focused on this band stuff and his business I just don't know how to even approach this with out sounding demanding but still want to feel like a part of his life. I know he doesn't realize it but I'm hurt but I want to deal with this and fix it b4 it ruins a wonderful relationship! Please help!!!

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A female reader, TasteofIndia United States +, writes (6 December 2009):

TasteofIndia agony auntMusicians. My Dad is a musician, and let me tell you - this is the life of music. My Mom has always said, to marry a musician, you have to truly love the music because you're married to that just as much as the man. His guitar is his soulmate. He spends about 75% of his time with his music, 10% eating and 15% with the family, but this is why we love him. I will assure you and say that he's unusual. He's dedicated his entire life to mastering his art... and most people aren't quite that persistent.

Talk to him, open up and practice your communicating skills, but I also have to say that - such is life. Especially for a musician. Try to compromise as well... get yourself involved with his business. Mom is immersed in booking and networking and doing lights... maybe you could find some skills that get yourself involved in his world. Maybe you could be "lighting girl"!!

Have a good talk and maybe he'll make some adjustments in his life and you can make adjustments in yours. Good luck, sweetness!

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A male reader, CaringGuy United Kingdom +, writes (6 December 2009):

Unfortunately when a man sets his sight on a goal, he tends to push everything else aside. I think you just need to be honest with him. Hints won't work with men, we don't see them. Tell him that you know he needs to put effort into his bad, and you understand and respect that, but remind him that you do need his attention and would like to be with him more. You just need to be honest, and hopefully he'll listen to you.

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