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female
,
anonymous
writes: When I was little I was always a tom boy. I'm 18 now, and I'm not TOTALLY like that anymore, but I have been hiding the fact that I'm homosexual for as long as I can remember. When I look back it's obvious that I've liked girls since I was in 1st grade. I don't really mind guys, that is, until it gets to a serious point. All my boyfriends have lasted no more than a week. I can't get out of this fantasy world that I have, where I'm a guy and my life is perfect. When reality hits me it's very sad to realize that I spend my whole life pretending I'm not miserable being stuck how I am. It's hard to be attracted to people who are friends to me. My anxiety disorder is most likely due to this. How do I keep this hidden but not have to avoid people I care about and be lonely and depressed?
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female
reader, Terrapin +, writes (10 June 2006):
 Ok firstly I think its important you accept yourself for who you are. You are a girl and im sure you have a great personality, But instead of sharing it with everyone and feeling free, you are bottling up your emotions and making yourself feel bad. Please 'come out' to a trusted friend, doctor, counsellor, parent or sibling. I think coming to terms with the fact that you see life from a different perspective to some people may really help you acheive a sense of freedom and happyness. Being gay/lesbian is something so many people dont feel free to express, so help yourself and just go for it girl. You have your right to be who you are, and not be teased bullied or treated differently.
A
female
reader, Hopeful +, writes (31 May 2006):
 Sorry to hear you're feeling down.
Because you mentioned anxiety and the likes, perhaps you should consider talking to a counsellor or someone who can help you look at some of the issues you are currently facing.
A professional will be also able to help you deal with the emotions, the confusion and the fear.
This is a big thing you are going through and it sounds like you need someone you can talk to. If you talk to someone about it, it will help you clarify the issues and understand the best way to tackle this.
You are who you are. People should accept that but I can imagine it is really difficult to openly admit it.
Speak to someone who can help you deal with this - you shouldn't deal with it all by yourself!
Good luck.
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A
female
reader, Smiler +, writes (30 May 2006):
 Hey there
hey sweetie don't be so sad :-(, come on smile just for me? i'll try and help you if i can ok, firstly my mom used to tell me something when i was younger and i feel the phrase fits you like a glove... don't hide your light under a bush sweetie just be yourself ok, if people don't like you for who you are and your sexuality then sweetie they just ain't worth knowing...! NOONE should have to lie about who they are or their sexual prefrence just to be liked. HAVE YOU EVER HEARD THE SONG "I AM WHAT I AM" and once you be loud and proud about exactly who you are then people will except you and respect you for it then in turn you will stop living in this fantasy world the only place you seem to be happy and relax and be a happy more self confident person which will help you relate to other guys and you'll find happiness i'm sure of it ok.... so we'll have no more of this lying to try to get liked or avoiding people ok .... be loud and proud of who you are and if peolpe don't like it they ain't worth knowing ok
i hope my advise has been able to help you a little sweetie keep smiling please feel free to email me again i'd love to hear how your getting on i'm always here for you ok
You Take Care Sweetie X
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2006): Well until you come out and openly accept yourself, you will continue to be lonely and depressed. You even answered your own question with "I can't get out of this fantasy world that I have, where I'm a guy and my life is perfect." and "When reality hits me it's very sad to realize that I spend my whole life pretending I'm not miserable being stuck how I am." and finally "My anxiety disorder is most likely due to this."
Another thing is the type of friends you have. Are they people you hang out with, or are they people who geniunely care about you and go out of their way to help you?
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