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How do I handle this without hurting him?

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 December 2009) 1 Answers - (Newest, 25 December 2009)
A male Australia age 41-50, *onfusedguy1 writes:

Hello , I met a guy 2 month ago and i had a nice feeling for him , after 3 weeks of dating him i cooled down and i didnt want to see him again , i dont know why ? but i found out that he is not the right one and we are totally different and he is untidy and other stuff

i didn't give him any word or something or even told him that i like you ,

but he thought that he is my partner

i don't know how did he got this thought

he think that i am his partner

its terrible i wanna dump him and i don't know how and i feel pity for him , i feel sorry but i don't want him

i sent him e-mail explaining that we are friends only

but he couldn't understand

i tried to ignore him , but he is chasing me

and he came to my house with Christmas present

now he is calling me to hang out with me and i am not picking the phone , looking for excuse , i feel myself bad but i cant do this , i cant

how i could handle this without hurting him

how i could let him understand to leave me in a nice way

thanks

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A female reader, Denise32 United States +, writes (25 December 2009):

Denise32 agony auntYou have tried telling him that he is no more to you than a friend - but unfortunately, even that may have had the opposite effect to what you intended: instead of discouraging him, he pursued you all the more. Desperate people sometimes clutch at straws - and he does sound desperate.

You have tried to dump him in a nice way, but it hasn't worked - and the truth is, no matter how kind you try to be, and considerate (which is the decent thing to do) the person you are trying to end it with, is almost certainly going to have his feelings hurt. Just human nature. But eventually he'll get over it - and if he doesn't, its not your responsibility. You have made your choice and its up to him to respect your decision.

I think you'll have to tell him flat-out that you don't feel the two of you are a good match, that you wish him well, but he is not to contact you by phone, text, email, or come to your house, ever again. You have to be firm about not answering the phone, not opening the door if he comes round and he should eventually get the message.

If not, I don't know if you can report him to the police as a nuisance - unless someone actually commits a crime, I don't really know what they can do - I have really no experience regarding that, but one of the other aunts or uncles might.

Good luck!

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