A
female
age
41-50,
*arlye
writes:Dear Cupid,Had a relationship with a married man who was sincere to his wife for 14 years. Never he had an affair to anyone till I came to his life. We both are Managers in one company. We became close and started this secret affair. He loves me as he said many times but he also love his wife and kids. Our relationship is very impossible as he is married till we call for break up but again we come back to each other.When I went for leave I thought everything is over between us but surprise me that u receive calls from him from time to time. When I was about to come back thing turned differently as no calls and even I call no respond from him. When I came back after a month he don't talk to me. I tried many times to approach him but he don't pick up my calls. There were a time that I catch him on the phone but told me I don't want to talk to you anymore and pls don't talk about love to me. We are working together but very uncomfortable as we don't talk to each other. I called him many times to tell that I have moved on and pls lets be professional and work together like before but his reply I'm not angry with you but I will never talk to you forever . What should I do? Shall I leave the company? People talks as he suddenly became cold to me. None of them is aware re: the affair we had but I'm also sure that they have a doubt that something went wrong between us. Pls help me how to handle him?Thanks
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Trinklett  +, writes (26 June 2012):
 He's trying to see that nothing happens between both of you again. Good decision. Only he's dealing with it the best way he knows. Avoiding you. Its awkward avoiding him but you may have to ignore him as well. Give him his space and maintain your distance. Difficult but possible. And make up your mind not to 'bond' with him if all of a sudden he snaps out of it and wants to reunite because he'll keep stepping in and out of your life as he wishes. I advice you make new friends and try and look for that special single bf for yourself - preferably outside your office.
A
female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (25 June 2012):
 I don't think he will change either. I think he feels shame over what he did to his wife, but instead of owning up to his own actions (cheating with you) he is now BLAMING you for the affair.
Is there a possibility for you to work in a different location, but stay in the company? Or sister companies for instance, personally, I don't think he can act civil or professional towards you and it can hurt YOUR career a lot more then his. However, I have a hard time thinking that YOU should be the one to leave. If you love your job and the company you work for I say, screw him. Work around him. Be professional. If it HURTS to work in the same place, then maybe I would consider moving on.
You both did something "wrong" but in my book his wrong a tad "bigger" since he was the person who was ACTUALLY married. Hopefully one of the things you will take from this experience.. is to never "date" married men, it rarely ends happily. For anyone.
Good luck!
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A
female
reader, carlye +, writes (25 June 2012):
carlye is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you
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A
female
reader, Starlights  +, writes (25 June 2012):
 People are noticing a tension between you.
You can continue working there but he will not change.
Other options are to cut him out of your life, to do that
you need to get distance.
So either remain at the same company and move teams
or find a new job.
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