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How do I go from here; best friends - to more?

Tagged as: Dating, Friends<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (25 April 2010) 3 Answers - (Newest, 27 April 2010)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, *ucyy13 writes:

Hey... just wanted to put my story out here and get some opinions.

Basically, I've been at a 6th Form college since September '08 and will be leaving in June this year. During my time at college I've become friends with a guy who I did not see as anything more than a friend - until about October or November this year. At that time, he had a girlfriend and I was seeing someone, so nothing happened, but we have since both become single.

Since around this October/November time when I realised I liked him, I've been picking up on some signs that he might like me back - calling me beautiful (this was when he had a girlfriend still), saying he loves me, some flirting - but it never really turned into anything until fairly recently. We've become much closer in the past 2 months or so, to the extent that I would call him my best friend, and the flirting has continued. But in the past couple of weeks, we have started meeting up (just the two of us), are being seen as something of a 'couple' by our friendship group, and the amount of touching (hugging, hand-holding, back rubs, linking arms) has gone up too. I keep worrying though, that I'm misreading this as flirting or 'signs he likes me' when it's actually just him being friendly. There has been a bit of 'naughty talk' between us as well - but there again I'm worried, this time that he might just be joking.

So my issue is this: how do I go from here - best friends - to more? Is it even possible? I'm scared to ask him out for fear of ruining what we've got, but would really like to be in a relationship with him - he's basically my idea of the perfect boyfriend and a lovely person too. Any ideas would be greatly appreciated!

View related questions: best friend, flirt

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A female reader, Lucyy13 United Kingdom +, writes (27 April 2010):

Lucyy13 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Just an update on the situation:

He and I are meant to be going for a drink on Saturday - this was planned yesterday. This is when I was planning to do the little kiss on the cheek thingy... but now I don't know. Today one of my friends told him that I liked him - I didn't ask them to do this but I guess that's what you get for being a fool and telling your friends. Apparently he already knew and wants me to talk to him about it. Now I honestly don't know what to do, or what on earth that means.

x

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A female reader, Lucyy13 United Kingdom +, writes (25 April 2010):

Lucyy13 is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks for the advice, that's really helpful :)

Yes, it is normally him that initiates the contact, largely because I get quite nervous around him. As an example, we were standing with a group of our friends recently and I apparently looked quite upset (I was actually nervous), and he came and stood behind me, put his arms around me and asked if I was okay. I will give the kiss on the cheek thing a go if I get the chance tomorrow or the day after... hope it works :) x

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A male reader, Starlite2k10 United States +, writes (25 April 2010):

As a guy who began his current relationship in the same situation as you, I think I could be quite a bit of help here =)

Is he the one who initiates the physical contact with you first? If that's so, then he's definitely attracted to you, so that would be a good starting point. Remember, he may even be in the same position that YOU are too, he may like you, but he may think you are joking about it all.

It may sound a little ridiculous, but next time you guys are on your own, give him a light kiss on the cheek (if you haven't already). This let's him know that you are willing to go a little further than playful hand holding and arm linking, and if you get a kiss on the cheek back, then it's time to go in for the kill, straight for the lips =)

Once that happens, you know he's on the same wave length as you, and if it doesn't, just give him a cheeky smile and play it off as a little bit of fun =)

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