A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I have known this guy for 25 years and we have gotten close in the last two years. We talk everyday all day on email, facebook and text. I know everything about him... as a friend. Six months ago we crossed that friendship line and have slept together a few times since. Its only been a few times cuz he went to Europe, I went Bali and broke my collarbone! So there have been large gaps in between each time. I have a feeling he may like me but he is the shy type and has told me in the past that he is a chicken when it comes to making moves with girls unless he is drunk or his mates force him!! Plus he would have no idea that I am starting to like him. We still talk but not everyday, but thats due to outside factors which has nothing to do with us... which I wont go into. I miss talking to him everyday and I got the feeling he was playing games with me (trying to get me to chase him) He has never ignored me and will ALWAYS reply to me... however wouldnt maintain a conversation!? SO I decided to just leave him be for a while and see how long it took him to miss me and get back in contact with me... it was about a week... I know he likes me but doesnt know how I feel and I guess doesnt want to "get rejected" and have things be weird and awkward... I dont want to talk about with him... for fear of the same reason! Plus I think it should be up to the guy to make the first move! So how do I give him subtle hints that I like him without putting myself out there too much... I dont wanna come on too strong... just want him to have the confidence to get things moving!!
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male
reader, Beingblack  +, writes (16 December 2009):
 Hang on a minute!
You've already slept with this guy, and you want to give him 'subtle' hints that you like him! I must be getting old.
Where I come from, when two people sleep together its usually because they like each other. They never usually have sex if one can't stand the sight of the other, or if they have doubts. And you are worried months later about 'putting yourself out there'? You don't want 'to come on too strong'?
I think that you can forget about being coy, or shy at this point, don't you? If you want a relationship with this guy, pick up the phone and tell him.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (16 December 2009):
If he's shy, he'll be too nervous. Take it from a male that subtle hints just won't work with him. He's probably confused about it all enough. Perhaps it should be up to the first guy to make the first move. But if he's too shy, he won't. I know a girl who waited for a guy to make the first move. In the end, he was so confused about how she felt because she'd flirt but not say anything, he gave up. Needless to say he has moved on, she is upset about it still. If you want him, you need to put yourself out there. If you don't, he will be sat there completely confused by your hints and will end up moving on. Take a chance.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (16 December 2009): I think that as you said he is shy, he maybe is backing off cos he does feel for you but doesn't know how to express it, so it is painful for him to talk, I am afraid that you may have to play the protagonist, and act first -tell him how you feel, good luck.
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