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How do I get this guy's respect after sleeping with him straight away?

Tagged as: Dating, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 July 2010) 5 Answers - (Newest, 31 March 2019)
A female United Kingdom age 26-29, anonymous writes:

Hey guys!

Right, well i slept with this guy that i like, and have done for a while, were not in any sort of relationship though, me sleeping with him probably wasn't the best thing to do.

How do i get this guy's respect after this? I'm hoping to be in a relationship with this guy and i cant have him thinking thats all I'm here for.

I need him to respect and want me, should i just wait it out and not sleep with him for a while?

let me know your thoughts guys, much love!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2019):

I don't why respect is an issue. If it is he's not worth it. It's not like you had group sex. If there is any guilt, he's equally guilty. My wife of 40 years was my friends with benefits buddy first. Somehow that made us not the jealous type. We both had regular mates/sex partners we were cheating on.

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A male reader, rivi United States +, writes (1 August 2010):

Are you sure he does disrespect you for having agreed to sex straight off ?

Personally I much prefer that in a girl to all the playing around, making you wait X dates approach loads of girls have - being made to wait doesn't increase my respect at all.

So best thing you can do is just open up and say yes the sex was great but is he up for more of a relationship ? And if you want it to be exclusive spell that out and ask if he would be up for that also ? Honesty as best policy.

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A female reader, Moo's Mum New Zealand +, writes (1 August 2010):

Moo's Mum agony auntTell him you want a relationship not just sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 August 2010):

I would not sleep with him for a little while. If you do not do this very often. Tell him you don't sleep with men you don't know very often. Mainly, make sure. Just make sure that he treats you the way you want to be treated.

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A male reader, Odds United States +, writes (31 July 2010):

Odds agony auntThis is a tough one. If you have frequently slept with guys on the first night at any point in the past, and he's aware of it, it's basically a lost cause. He probably assumes this is the case anyway.

Go to the effort of asking him out yourself right away. Have a lunch or breakfast date where you can talk for a while. If you have a dinner date the lack of sex will be too conspicuous.

Don't wait too long to sleep with him again, or he will lose interest. You've already raised his expectations in that regard. What you have to do now is put your personality on full display, show him that you are fun to be around. Don't bother trying to convince him that you've never slept with a guy on the first night, or even bring it up. If he's even open to the possibility of dating, he's going to be evaluating your potential loyalty, and talking about it too much will just make him wary. Show him your best side and hope for the best.

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