A
female
age
26-29,
*himakasai
writes:I've been reading articles and looking at things and just thinking about my relationships and questions have kinda come up. A few months ago, I dated this guy who was a close friend and who would say things that I believed were true (like he'd walk to my house in the rain in the middle of the night just to see me, or those over expressive things like he'd give me the world if it was possible). I had only dated once before him and that bf and I hadn't gotten too close so I was really new to the emotions and things. I had the issue where I couldn't feel anything. He'd kiss me and I didn't feel it. And I hated that. But then one day I was at his house and I was tired and fell asleep for a bit. When I woke up, my emotions were flaring and I REALLY wanted to kiss him. So I did, and then right after I kissed him again. And again. We started rapidly kissing after that and I had really wanted to make out, but we didn't actually do any tongues or anything. Anyways, afterwords I started to feel really weird and didn't want to do anything like it again. Well, the next day I was over and he tried to start it again and I didn't like it at all so I got him to stop. A week or so later I lost all feelings for him in one of those personal changes. He didn't take it well at all when I broke up with him (he suffers from depression and his life is horrible so I just added to it). Then he stopped calling me or talking to me, so I had a while to think and realized that he was a liar, a horrible boy friend, and a horrible friend. He was like a present from your grandma (one of those stereotypical ones) where it looks really pretty on the outside, but on the inside, it's just a bunch of disappointment (since instead of a stereo, it's a hand knitted sweater your parents want you to wear to school). Anyways, any time I think of him now, or anything related to him, I feel a really powerful negative feeling. It could be hate but that doesn't quite seem right.So to sum this all up, I hate the feeling I associate with making out, and I'm worried that in the future, when I'm ready to make out or want to try, I'll relate those negative feelings and absolutely hate the thought of making out with my bf. So, how do I get rid of them?(Ps, sorry for making this so long! I'm a story teller so I can't help it)
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broke up, kissing, liar Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2009): Don't worry - you might not feel the same about this boy even in 3 months time! Hormones are strange things!
A
female
reader, Shimakasai +, writes (6 August 2009):
Shimakasai is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks! I take a slight pride in my typing abilities. That sounds like a pretty good idea, but it still worries me that the repulsion (I figured out the right word for it) might not naturally go away. Hopefully over time it will. I mean, I am only almost 15 so there's plenty of time. I just don't want this issue to interfere with my dating life. Thanks for the advice though! I appreciate it
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 August 2009): You may be a storyteller, but you're a literate one, which is a very nice change from some of the abysmal attempts at spelling and grammar we see on here!
Anyway, you're just starting out on this emotional journey of relationships and you'll learn as you go on. Perhaps this boy wasn't right for you or you had bad vibes or whatever, but when the right one comes along you'll know it and you won't have these negative feelings.
Maybe you've heard it before, but your hormones are getting active and you're changing from a girl into a young woman which will sometimes throw your emotions all over the place, but don't worry, in a couple of years' time you'll have got over the upheaval involved in this change. Think with your head rather than your heart for a while and you'll be alright.
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