A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was wondering if someone can help. I met a guy, and I thought he was nice, I was honest from the start in that I am not looking for anything but friends plus I didn't fancy him one bit but he seemed nice. (I was with someone I was really in love with and we split) and I told this guy I could only offer friends. He said that was fine, we went for a few coffee's He then met an ex friend of both of us who said stay away she is loopy as she has bipolar. She is no longer a friend due to her morals and a married man plus she would keep turning up for coffee without asking and would moan if I walked into town on my own with her. I do things for me and I need my own space. We have been talking on and off throughout the day most days and he has been to my place for coffee and I invited his friends. Half way through the evening he got up and started making them coffee and treating my home as his own. He kept hinting he could be happy here yeah right I moved only two weeks ago. I went to the loo and locked the door and luckily I had finished when all of a sudden the door was flung open. he had placed a coin the the outside part and opened it. I was furious. He called me that night and started being really suggestive and I am not certain but I am sure he was masturbating while talking to me. At one point he was on the phone to me and having a wee and he thought all this funny. I find it disgusting. He also keeps hinting at coming over and watching a film when I say its my night he says he can sit on the floor if I don't want to give up the sofa. I was invited by his friends for dinner yesterday at 5pm. I get on with them so went and this wally met me off the bus in full tuxedo in a busy area. He been in it since 9am and even went to church in it. He said he wanted to dress for our first meal together. Its my ex's birthday this Monday and we are still friends and still talk despite everything and he understands me as I have a mental illness and we are going for a meal with joint friends and I had not mentioned this and when he asked if I was busy over this weekend end I said yes meeting a friend and he glared at me and said which one. This morning I had an early appointment and shot off to it, he called me at 10am wanting know if I was alright as I had not text him morning. When I said I could not talk he sounded like I had just told him father Christmas don't exist. Tonight he is driving me mad with his texing and its childness texting. I don't want to be cruel and I am so scared he will think this ex friend was right and will add to the gossip. But how do I get out of this? I have found out some not great things about them all and if I cut contact I am scared they will turn up on my door. he joked about it but was it a friendly warning if I fail to answer his texts?Tonight he has text saying he knows I am out if his league but he thinks he is falling for me after three weeks!! He has just rung and I said sorry couldn't talk again it sounds like hes gonna cryPlease help.
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female
reader, Honeypie  + ♥, writes (19 May 2015):
 You are right in not wanting anything more to do with this guy, TRUST your gut. And this guy? There is something totally OFF with him.He actually sounds like a dangerous guy. He tries manipulation with you (like crying on the phone when you can't talk), then he constantly what to know who you are with and what you are up to.He said YOU were out of HIS league? WHO the heck is he trying to kid? My advice would be to get an extra lock on your door, tell him that you think it's best not to continue this friendship as you don't feel you have the time (better excuse than telling him you are scared of him or that he is a total loon), THEN get a new phone number, if he shows up at your house do not let him in. Call the police. IF his friends try and approach you, just tell them the same thing.YOU do not owe this fella ANYTHING.YOU owe yourself peace of mind and to not feel worried or scared.
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