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How do I get over this shyness so I can talk to the office girls?

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Question - (26 May 2005) 8 Answers - (Newest, 10 February 2007)
A , anonymous writes:

I am desperately shy and really want to be able to talk to the two new girls in my office. They are both lovely but I start to sweat as soon as they come near me! Please help......

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 February 2007):

Im young and unexperienced. I really like this hot girl but im shy and don't know what to say around her. I want to ask here out. What should I do?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 July 2006):

Get over your fears.There only girls.You need to learn to be able to express you self with out being shy.There body may ve pretty if you say but they are still girls and you need to get over it.As some girls sweat when some boys come near them.Its the same thing there just boys and you need to learn to get over it.

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A reader, star3482 +, writes (30 May 2005):

Aww, sweet! When you are near them, just forget that you fancy them and treat them like you do your guy mates xx

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A female reader, Bev Conolly Australia +, writes (29 May 2005):

Bev Conolly agony auntStart small. Don't feel like you have to smother them with attention or be the world's greatest conversationalist. Try "Hi Monica. How was your weekend?" or "Hi Danielle. I just found a place that makes great coffee!"

Be cheerful and brief and if the conversation starts to flag, smile and say, "Well, I'd better get back to work. See you around."

Over time, it will get easier to keep up the conversations, and as you get to know them as people, you'll find more that you can talk about. Try to remember what they talked about to you when you do speak, so that you can remember what each person likes and dislikes. Having someone remember something about you is a big compliment, so if a person says she loves butterscotch or makes stained glass ornaments, it's very flattering to be remembered for it. Things like that go a long way toward making you pleasant company to talk with.

Take it from a chronically shy person who "fakes" sociability pretty well, pretend you're not shy and people will think you're not.

Good luck.

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A reader, Wildberries +, writes (28 May 2005):

Say "Hi!, How are you?" It is okay! And a good place to start. Be open and friendly, just like you would with anyone else...they will love it!!!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (27 May 2005):

First of all you have to be confident with yourself and believe in yourself. You have to know the reason for your shyness and try and overcome it. Don't try to be someone else but be youself and try and strike a general conversation. You will be fine as long as you be yourself! :)

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A reader, purple_angel +, writes (27 May 2005):

Hey, before you start to panic, just remember you are not the only one. Everyone at some stage is shy, it took me four years to overcome my shyness but it is worth it. There are many ways of overcoming this problem. You could wait until a work night out, have a few drinks to settle your nerves and then try and chat to them. You could try and find out what there interests are and do a bit of research before chatting to them so that there are no deadly silences and you are guarateened to have something to talk about.

When you do finally pluck up the courage to chat to them, approach them as friends and this way there is less pressure for you to impress them. You should always chat to people as through there were your parents/friends and that way you will seem confident and less shy. Remember to only chat about subjects that you know about otherwise you will look stupid and your self confidence will drop. Just remember that if they don't want to chat to you then they are the ones missing out, you have nothing to lose. Good Luck

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A reader, lucy +, writes (27 May 2005):

Just approach these girls as if they were one of your regular friends. Think about how would you stand, speak, what body language would you use (etc.) on your reguular friends and try it out with these girls. Start off with small talk, such as asking them what jobs they've been in before (etc. etc) and then build up from there. And remember they won't know you're nervous if you don't give it away so stand tall, smile, give plenty of eye-contact and that should really do the trick. Good luck!

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