A
female
age
36-40,
*ezza
writes:Dear cupidI have been in a very emotional first relationship with a woman on and off for a year.When i met her i was a bit distant and scared of gettin close to someone.I admit i was a bit of a bitch right at the start but she saw this as a challenge.she would do things for me and make me feel like no one ever had untell my cold heart turned warmThats when she first broke up with me,all of a sudden there were a million reasons rong with my personality.she used to compare me to her ex who 'was the love of her life' so then week or 2 later she come back,like a fool i took her back.excepted that i needed to change the things that i was odviously doing rong..and this on off thing continued 4 a year with her even cheating on me and me taken her back....theres alot of other stuff in between but im trying my best to keep it short....so basically the last straw was that her ex started txtin again and i straight up asked her 2 stop txting or its over for good.she said she wouldnt so i walked.......NOW know what u probibly think,what was i thinking takeing her back etc..i think the same to myself trust me..but im not doing it again! i want some advice on how to not let her back in please??????because everytime im getting strong oand building my covidence up she turns up at my house,or makes me feel guilty about something n i let her back in,always thinging that i wont get back with her.AND FAIL! she always tells me how much she loves me and that she gets scared she cant make me happy.when things are good they are perfect and shes the most loveing person. but its like when she gets in a sertain mood she hates me and wants me away...hers the last email she sent me,bare in mind ive heard it a 1000 times before....''Look this is really hard for me,i dont wana hurt you, you are the one person i least wana hurt but for me and you i will have to.I really dont want to be with you anymore, i just feel i have come to the end of the road and i now feel myself getting so annoyed at you and irratable in my own skin it hurts.I need some time to be onmmy own, i know i have said it before but this time i am poitive i need it.I just cant go on this way no more and as much as i care for you i will end up resenting you.It has to end now''can i have your view on this please and some advice on how to stay strong and not feel so alone and depressed??
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broke up, depressed, her ex Reply to this Question
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female
reader, lezza +, writes (21 July 2008):
lezza is verified as being by the original poster of the question
once again thanks sexy suga..what you said is what i told her today.she has been txting and emailing,eveng coming round my house.i told her im not taking her back and that she needs help! she said she knows its over and shes lost someone who truly loved her again! she booked a ap with the docters tomorrow and was crying to me about her moods,and how she feels she has no control over them...
Im just going to distance myself emotionaly but be here if she needs me..it will be hard but like you said,she needs to sort her head out before she can commit to anyone cuz its not fair on me.
A
female
reader, sexi suga +, writes (21 July 2008):
well to be honest its hard to tell... esp when a person has a history of just uno uping and leaving without any jutsification... she diffi cares about you but whether she loves you or not is a different story... she may have a past of this but to be honest its not fair that she brings you down into her mess with you...
i think she is just confused and doesnt always knows what she wants... she sometimes wants what you want and sometimes she runs away from what she wants... she seems very indesicive and until she doesnt makes a decsion and sticks to it u shudnt get involved... let her sort her head out... and hey maybe when shes ready things will be different...
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A
female
reader, lezza +, writes (18 July 2008):
lezza is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Ithanks again sexi suga..i dis reply on my mobile but odviously it failed to send.
I know i wont ever go back or give in but it is really hard at tho moment.im down about other aspects of my life so she is making it even worse..
just one more question,do you think she loves me? she tells me she does all the time but when she has a mood swing she was a diffrent person...she had issues with her moods and is why her ex finished with her,so i tried to help but i guess i was tryna help some one who cant change..its jus really sad to see here upset u know?
thanks again.
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A
female
reader, sexi suga +, writes (18 July 2008):
its ok sweetie been there and done that never allow urself to be second best you are better then that no matter what just remember that and smile :)
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A
female
reader, lezza +, writes (17 July 2008):
lezza is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank u sexi suga.u are spot on in your repl(I would give u 5 star rating but im on my mobile and it dornt have that option sorry)..she craves attention and knew i was always gona take her bk cuz i love her so much...i am so determined to move on now more then ever.the only thing that kept me going back was the fact i thought she truley loved me.and as u say i was dependant on her.oh god how sad.lol has anyone else been in this situation before? Thanks again.x
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A
female
reader, sexi suga +, writes (17 July 2008):
to be honest i think this girl is a girl that craves attension and will go where ever someone gives it to here.. but then when its gone she will go back to the one person who will diffinatly give her that attension... dont let her be apart of your life when she feels like it. she gets involved when she wants to and on her term leaving you to either give her what she wants or not and she knows that you will always give in to her playing the game she knows she will win... this does sound a bit harsh but girls too play sick mind games... if this girl is prepared to give up everything she has with you for someone else (regardless of whether thats her x or not) she diffinatly not one for keeps... she sounds like a character that is keeping you as second best and waiting for someone that is her 1st choice and when that comes along she will throw away everything without looking back but as soon as first choice goes she knows that her second choice is still gnna be there... dont let her treat you as second best anyone is better then that...sorry if this may sound alittle harsh but i honestly believe that you need to stop her coming back into your life at her conviencance... go out enjoy what else life has to offer... take up some time out to do things you want to do and are of interest to you.... learn to live life on your terms rather then someone else and give urself time to get over this and trust me dont fall back into the routine of becoming dependent on her... :)
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A
female
reader, lezza +, writes (17 July 2008):
lezza is verified as being by the original poster of the question
Thanks for your replys :)
yes i have mates but they have all washed there hands off me where she is concerned.they hate her and have been telling me to walk for ages.
I have cut all contact and havnt spoke to her or anything since sunday and even thogh its really hard i have no intention of doing so..
I know what i want in life and its not to b treated like a mug!! at the moment i just need people to keep drumming that in my head so i dont give in,u know what i mean?
ok so just as im writing this i got a txt from her saying ''i dont expect you to reply.i do have to tell you thogh,i know you hate me but if you ever need me for anything i will be here.even if you just want to rant.anytime''
OMG!!!!!!!!!!! ITS SO DAMN ANNOYING.I JUST DELETED IT STRAIGHT AWAY..B***H!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): hey it sounds to me like she is very needy.
when you say she is still txting her ex and that she compares you to your ex. maybe thats she really wants is her ex more and she misses him.
i know how hard it can be to let go of some one but in the long run its best.
just try think of your perfect girl and if she doesnt fit into that then try and forget.
there are plenty more women out there and alot that will not be on and off because if someone truleys loves you they would try their best to make things work.
bi
xxxxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (17 July 2008): This sounds alot like my current situation. It is so hard trying to get over someone you love, especially when they keep poppin up wanting you back. The only advice I can give really is to cut all contact with her (especially while you are not completely over her) If you get a call, ignore/cancel it, if you get a text or email from her don't read it. If you see her act as though you have got over her. Do you have any mates you can talk to and go out places with? Because getting out and doing things will keep you occupied and take you're mind of things. I hope this can be some help. Take care x
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