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How do I get over something like this? Are there no more morals or respect these days? I'm so hurt and I want him to feel my pain

Tagged as: Breaking up, Cheating<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (31 March 2015) 10 Answers - (Newest, 13 April 2015)
A female United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I have been suspicious about my fiance's activity so I broke off my engagement because he is talking and hanging out with his ex. We haven't even officially broke it off and he's been out with her and other friends. He's asked me to meet up with him for coffee this last Thursday, I've refused to meet him calling him a lying cheat! Saturday he was photographed with this person and I send him the pic so he doesn't think I'm a fool and he's still playing it off like they're friends. How to I get over something like this??? Are there no more morals or respect these days? I'm so hurt and I want him to feel my pain :(

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2015):

I just found out pregnant? I don't know what to do??? Do I give him another chance or move on?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2015):

We had many arguments about him friending her on fb and he wouldn't delete her. Call it women's intuition but after he called her and then hung out at 2 different concerts I hardly think it's friendship he's seeking. I don't know for sure if he has but my gut feeling tells me it's gone further.

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A female reader, Dapril09 United States +, writes (1 April 2015):

Dapril09 agony auntI understand the hurt and pain you are feeling as I have felt this type of pain before over an ex. I think youre on the right path for calling off the engagement, however i do believe you need to speak to him and listen to what he has to say just because itll help you start the closure process. If what he has to say is complete Bull and you know it deep down then just tell him that you no longer want to be with him. If you decide to give him another chance, put your foot down and tell him you are not ok with what he is doing. He is your fiance he should take you with him when other girls are gonna be involved and if you cant go then he shouldnt either out of respect. A relationship is a two way street and if he cant try for you then he isnt worth your effort. dont put up with any disrespect girl. Youre a queen & should be treated like one. If he doesnt know how to, he needs some growing up to do. Keep your head up and always focus on yourself and self love. Workout, do what you like to do, push yourself forward. We always love again, we always move on. Time heals everything because despite what we are going through life keeps going.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 April 2015):

Did he actually cheat or is this just a gross overreaction to him havingnrhe nerve to try and maintain a friendly rapport with an ex? A person CAN be friends with and ex, you know.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntStay off his/her Facebook? or wherever you saw the photos. And definitely no contact.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (31 March 2015):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntLet's focus on this: "Are there no more morals or respect these days? I'm so hurt and I want him to feel my pain :("

NOBODY can continually treat you disrespectfully UNLESS YOU ALLOW THEM TO DO SO!!!! ... and,

You accomplish NOTHING by believing that you can make him "feel the pain" that you are feeling....

IN circumstances such as you describe, the ONLY "solution" is to walk away, and chalk this (situation) up to a bad life-experience....

Good luck...

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2015):

I gave the ring back 2 weeks ago after I found out they've been talking. He's been trying to meet with me but I won't have it. There was a concert this last weekend and pictures were posted and one of them was of him and her all smiles. This is the worse pain :(

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A male reader, WiseOwlE United States + , writes (31 March 2015):

He's not going to feel your pain.

Contact an attorney and check the state statutes about keeping the ring. In some states; if you break the engagement, he can sue for his ring back. I brought this up, because I detect the rage in the tone of your post. He'll probably inflict more pain by asking for his ring back.

I recommend that you calm yourself down; and approach this matter logically, and get your legal ducks in a row. Make sure you're not going crazy out of shear jealously; simply because you're angry over his ex being anywhere near him.

What evidence do you have that they're cheating?

People seen in the same picture doesn't mean they're having sex.

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A female reader, So_Very_Confused United States + , writes (31 March 2015):

So_Very_Confused agony auntReturn his things and the ring.

then unfriend him on social media and block him and his "ex"

on all social media and the phone.

then go on and mourn for 6 full weeks.

after that get on with life and live well... that's the best revenge...

as for wanting him to feel pain... he won't no matter what you do it's not going to hurt him, so let that go.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (31 March 2015):

Honeypie agony auntHe figured you would be happy with a ring on your finger and not pay attention to his other "activities".

There is no NEED for an OFFICIAL break up. If you have things at his place, set up a date to pick them up and return his stuff - DO NOT discuss this ex or the relationship - it's over. And there is NO point in further discussion, this man will not all of a sudden grow morals or start to respect you.

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