A
female
age
18-21,
anonymous
writes:hi i need some advice. ive been with my boyfriend for a month but we were really close friends for six months before that. Hes 25, i am 21. we've decided we're ready for sex but there are a couple of things holding us back. firstly he has only slept with one person whom he was in a fairly serious relationship with and our mutual friend said he is self conscious about the size of his penis. My problem is is that although ive slept with more people, im very inexperienced with sex so im nervous about touching him because i dont know what im doing. how can i help him get over his fears about his size (without actually mentioning it because i dont think our friend was meant to tell me)?how should i touch him intimately and get over my nerves in doing this?Thanks xx
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female
reader, O Connor  + ♥, writes (6 March 2008):
 hey hun, well the only way you are going to get over the foreplay nerves is just by exploring him and learning about what he likes and stuff. learn about his erogenous zones and what turns him on. heres a really good site to look up for tips and help - sexinfo101.com - its really useful and is full of fun stuff!! hope this helps, email me if you want good luck xxx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks guys, but im not bothered about size, its what he is insecure about. and ive slept with a couple more people than him but they were one offs, its the foreplay bit im nervous about and specifically what i do with my hands and how to "handle him" because ive only done it a few times
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2008): Odd post, you had sex with more men, but claim in experience? Even if you just laid back, you should at least have noticed that sizes vary and what the difference is? I can't help you there, I only got the one size after all.
So answer it yourselve did you notice the size differences in the past?
Everyone here seems to be presuming that he thinks he got a small one, as if guys with a big one don't have worries of their own (no woman ever refused sex because a guy was to small, but a big one makes some really scared to be hurt).
Either way, you both should know the basics, come on if you slept with multiple men you should have picked something up.
I can't tell you how to start, just find a moment when you two are close and in private and start kissing. If you feel ready and feel he is ready, well just start exploring. Just unbutton his trousers and explore, the male penis ain't all that hard to find. You got to remember your nails but just handle it gently and it should be alright. If he only had one girl, well he is not going to expect you to be a master anyway. There really isn't anything to worry about. As long as you don't lacerate him with your nails or jank it or bend it it should be alright. Lets face it, it is used to a lot of abuse hanging outside our bodies anyway.
As for dealing with his size. Well, a lot of guys are insecure about it, porn movies are shot specially to make the penis look bigger then it really is. That still however leaves the fact that size varies drastically. If he is really small, well then you might have to face the fact that you will receive less stimulation during intercourse from depth and width. If you can contract your vagina muscles you can compensate for a lack of width, but not depth. Certain positions can help, and certain positions will be more difficult. Doggy style is good for a short penis, missionary is not. See a sex manual for the rest.
If he is too large, well you are going to need lube and a lot of foreplay to get ready. Try it on top so you can control the pace.
One of the things I would like to remind you off, forget the movies. The idea that you both can get ready in a couple of minutes, have intercourse and have an orgasm at the same time is idiotic. Sex is far messier then that and for new couple it will be a long time before you are comfortable enough with each other to do this. Accept this and you loose a lot of pressure on both of you. It is already scary enough without some impossible goal to reach.
I wouldn't try anything to get him over his fears unless he really is unwilling to have sex with you because of it.
Talking about it if he thinks he is too small will only make it worse I think. Just show him that you are want him and hopefully he will gain the confidence from that to overcome his insecurity.
Just try and imagine what you would want your partner to do if you were insecure about the size of your breasts. If you thought you were flatchested or a cow. Would you want him to talk to you, or simply show that he desired you.
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A
female
reader, cutebutnot29 +, writes (5 March 2008):
 dont listen to what your frined has said it sounds like jealousy and any way t what u think that matters if u r not sure what to do just take some time to feel each other and learn each others bodys and then when u feel comfortable then move to something else u dont have to rush into untill u r borth comforatble with your self and each other
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A
female
reader, O Connor + ♥, writes (5 March 2008):
dont listen to wat your friend says - this may or may not be true and its a senstive issue to approach. there are only 2 of you in this relationship - not 3 or more, so why listen to your mutual friend about his/her views on your sex life?
sex can only get better with experience and practice - so start practicing!! start off by getting more comfortable with eachtother's bodies - explore eachother with your hands and learn about what pleasures you. take a night out with eachother for this, this way you can relax and know that you can take things as slow as you like. get comfortable seeing eachother naked also, and enjoy just being with eachother. touch and kiss eachother and slowly move into foreplay - you dont need to jump right into sex yet, you can take as much time to have fun with eachtother. when you are ready to have sex go for it! just relax and enjoy it, and it doesnt matter if the first time with eachother is not totally perfect - the 2 of you will slowly just fall into it and enjoy it more! i hope this helps hun, if you want more advice just email me xxx
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): Who gives a shit what your "mutual" friend says. Are they trying to sabotage your relationship...? DON'T repeat what this "friend" said - The consequences are unknown but it will probably be detrimental to everyone involved.
Most inexperienced men are self conscious about the size of their penis, this goes without saying. Just don't say anything about it, unless he asks you directly (he will eventually) Telling him it's 'more than enough' will be sufficient. No-one benefits from details... Don't get hung up, just relax and go with what comes naturally!
You don't have to be an expert, just be yourself. It's ok to be nervous, he will be also.
(the people that want professional sex are usually the ones that pay for it)
Stop thinking about it, you will only build on your nervousness.
Take care
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A
male
reader, DoubleM  +, writes (5 March 2008):
 You say that you have more sexual experience. Then you should not have much reservation about simply grabbing him and guiding him along. There is little harm you can do to a man by fondling his privates, and I can assure you that most any attention there by you will be exciting for him. While in a passionate kiss and embrace, just reach down and give a good rub, and I'm sure he will rise to the occasion.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2008): relax and make a night out of it! run him a bath add a few rose petals a little bit of baby oil, give him 10 mins to relax in the bath then join him touch and caress each other without penetration, don't be to rough mens bits are sensitive don't be shy to guide him around your body put his hands where you want him to touch you and using a soft voice tell him how you like it show him your enjoying it he'll soon get the drift and follow your lead and tell you what works for him you'll both be racing to the bedroom and would of forgot about all your worries and enjoying a night of passion, relaxing is the key anxiety kills the steam! [and remember use protection!]
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