A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in the process of ending my 2 year relationship. The main issues were alcohol abuse and money. The soon to be ex boyfriend still owes me money. When he phoned last week he cut short the call because his son (previous marriage) had called him. When he called back again he just “happened” to mention how upset the boy was because he was the only one in his team without proper soccer boots. Boyfriend sighed a lot about telling him he’d have to wait etc, told me how the boy had already asked him long ago, how there was a major match this week. He didn’t come right out and ask but I eventually felt so bad for the little boy (we got along well) I sent him money to buy the soccer boots on condition he pays me back.When I got home later that day I felt so stupid as if I had just been suckered into it. At the time I just felt sorry for the child. I don’t want to get back with or get back at his father, I’m totally not interested. I wish I could just say to myself that I helped someone out, and not feel stupid and a pushover because of what has happened in the past. I don’t want to have the past experience of being used to stop me from lending a helping hand in the future. How do I get over it and not keep telling myself how foolish I was?
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male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (25 August 2011):
 WHEN you "loan" money to someone as close as a boyfriend/girlfriend or family member.... then don't EVER consider it a "loan" until/unless it is freely repaid....
In every such instance, be prepared that there will be NO repayment......
Good luck.....
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2011): I don't get why you think you are a push over, you like to help people that's not a bad thing, stop being so hard on yourself. Not getting paid back would make you one though, so make sure you get your money back.
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