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How do I get out of the hole I've dug for myself?

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Question - (20 July 2010) 2 Answers - (Newest, 20 July 2010)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I was depressed for a good part of the last 12 months due to a rocky relationship and another woman who tried to get me to leave with her. I made bad decisions and escalated everything. There was no affair, but I was very, very tempted and very depressed about the whole thing.

Now the other woman is finally gone and my relationship with my girlfriend may or may not work out, but everything else in my life has gone spiraling out of control due to the fact that I just didn't care about it. I don't really know why I let this happened.

Before all this I had all my student loan payments scheduled and under control. I had just opened my first credit card to purchase some equipment for my full-time job as a freelancer and was making all the payments on time.

My truck was paid for with maintenance, insurance, and registration and taxes taken care of. I had the necessary permits to park in my neighborhood.

I had health insurance and was a month ahead on my bills.

Sometime in the middle of all the relationship chaos I stopped caring and stopped taking care of anything. Is this normal? Does it happen to other people?

Now I'm in a huge mess.

I stopped paying my student loans and my credit card. Both went to collections. My truck needs work. The registration is expired. It won't pass inspection. I owe taxes. The neighborhood permit expired and I racked up parking tickets I didn't care about. My car insurance expired and I got a ticket with a court date that I missed. I have unpaid parking tickets and warrants for them and I no longer have health insurance. I'm a step behind my monthly bills.

I haven't been asserting myself as much as I should to get work, but I am still working and bringing in money, just not enough to cover all this. Where do I begin?

View related questions: affair, depressed, money

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010):

Thank you for your reply. I was cheating, but not physically. There was no sex but the relationship was important to me.

I didn't leave my girlfriend because I didn't know how. She would shut down and act crazy. I didn't know how to handle it.

I'm hoping it can get better.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (20 July 2010):

YES...a person can find themselves on the "bottom of the pole" when depressed or they are under alot of stress emotionally. If you were that stressed out with your current girlfriend, then why didn't you just end the relationship? Also, were you cheating on her? At any rate, to answer your question...yes.....a person can spiral out of control when faced with extreme emotions.

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