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How do I get my boyfriend to believe in god?

Tagged as: Big Questions, Dating, Teenage<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (9 December 2008) 48 Answers - (Newest, 6 March 2009)
A female New Zealand age 16-17, anonymous writes:

i have an amazing bf weve been together for like 8 months were both 17

im christian and hes not

he knows

i want to try and get him to believe in god like me

we had a argument recently about believing in god and not believing in god

to him it was just a silly argument and we still love each other even though we dont have the same opinion

to me its a big deal and want him to believe in god like me and i cant be with him if he doesnt believe in the same thing as me! i have felt he same around him since for some reason i thought it would be easy to convince him but hes totally set on all that "everything happened by coindence" rubbish and i cant stand that!

any suggestions?

frm christians preferably or people who wont tell me that god isnt real and that i shouldnt force my religion on people i know that and im trying not to!

View related questions: christian

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (6 March 2009):

well i think that you should just leave that problem in gods hand dont forse him to believe.just pray to god and ask him 4 help and he will help you when its time thats wat i do cuz my boyfriend isnt christian either but i pray to my lord to help him and me so he can get to know god and praise him

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A reader, anonymous, writes (25 February 2009):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

from the original poster.....

woa so many strong opinions... quite exciting

well just so everyone knows me and my bf are strong believers now and are gonna get baptised :D

so closed case!

yeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaap!

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A female reader, TalkingHelps United Kingdom +, writes (24 February 2009):

TalkingHelps agony auntLet me address what you said when you stated that you don't buy into that 'everything happened by coincidence bollocks' WELL IT'S THE SAME FOR HIM AND GOD -HE CAN'T BELIVE THAT BY COINCIDENCE A GOD APPEARED AND THEN MADE THE EARTH OKAY?! I can't bleive that you would let your religion divide you so much, don't try to turn him otherwhise he will just turn the other way! You can't force someone to believe something, they choose their paths themselves.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (24 February 2009):

As far as I can tell you have a very strong desire to share your love of God with whom ever you are with. You need to be able to talk to that someone and share with that someone all the things that you love about the Lord. It's normal.

You should want to share Him with others. This is a great thing.

Now as a few of the others have said, you can't force your boyfriend to believe in God and except Christ as his Lord and savior. God gave us all a choose in whether we want to believe in Him or not. Your boyfriend will know God in God's time and not when you wish it.

So, pray for your boyfriend. And in time when God chooses, He will reveal Himself to your boyfriend and he will love the Lord the way you do. IF he chooses.

I think that you really need to think about what you really want in a relationship. It has nothing to do with your boyfriend. It's has everything to do with YOU.

God places desires in us for a reason. He allows us to want and need things that will benefit us and draw us closer to Him. As a matter of fact all relationships should draw us closer to Him.

If you desire to have a relationship with a person where you can talk to him about God and grow together in your faith then why are you worrying so much about a nice guy who doesn't.

Besides that, in the bible it says that we should be equally yoked.

Another thing I'm not sure you have done yet is to pray to God about it. Talk to Him and put your boyfriend in his hands. Try not to argue with your guy either. The tongue is a sword that destroys. Don't let your tongue cause spiritual damage. God loves you and your guy. Don't say anything that will dampen His views on God.

One last thing. God wants the best for you. He loves you and desires to give you everything He has for you. This includes a Godly Man. Listen to Him. He will lead you in the right direction. Don't let fear of being alone stop you from getting everything God has for you. Let go. Focus on Him and be patient. God will mold the right guy into your life. Wait for Him.

I will be praying for you and your Boyfriend. Oh and everyone else who commented. God Bless.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008):

"unconditional love of God"... well that means everything is sorted then because God loves everything and everybody, he'll even love her boyfriend who is not a Christian.

Fade, I remember the story of Thomas, didn't he deny Jesus and try to stab him and kill him or something like that. I kinda remember that Jesus didn't mind and treated him nicely.. No talk about being a bad christian, or telling him "hey why can't you be like the others who were nice to me, I like them better than you"...

I never noticed the mistake, but now I think about it, you do know that I think it's funny...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008):

"First, I don't think anyone whose responded thus far is really a Christian"

I'm an atheist, don't believe in God.. at the moment some of you Christians are confusing me. Where is this love that you preach and are supposed to practice. Aren't you all supposed to be on the same side?

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 December 2008):

Hello - you're question is very sincere. First, I don't think anyone whose responded thus far is really a Christian, so you can take their advice, but they won't understand why you feel the need to share with your boyfriend your faith - they label you as "intolerant" and that you should "accept him as is" - it's not that you haven't , but i know that the reason why you are a Christian still is because YOU understand the benefits of being one; one of course majorly is having "eternal life" but also a loving, awesome AMAZING relationship with God. It's not a crime to want the best for someone you love.

Secondly, I know you love your boyfriend a lot. He may be the "best" guy in the world, no doubt, however, people who don't know God like how you and me know God do not know "Love" like how you and me do! They have a concept of love, but do not know the unconditional love of God, unless they choose to know "Him" for themselves. :D

Your boyfriend only knows how to love you with "natural" love, He will never be able to on his own strength to love you like how God's designed Him to fully love you with HIS love. :)And quite frankly, you deserve someone who can do this for you! There are great guys out there who do not know the love of God, but there are also great (if not, greater guys) out there who DO!

Finally, it is true that you cannot change someone. I don't suggest you try to change your boyfriend - even if he said, "I love you babe and wanna convert" he'd probably be doing if for YOU and not because he wants to know God and he can't make that decision based on that. It'll have to be because he really wants to.

I'm not here to preach to you - you can read 2 corinthians 6:14 and ask God what He's sharing with you in that verse. But perhaps my purpose for writing this post is to just let you know that God has the BEST guy out there for you - not someone who just "loves" you and dotes on you, but someone who'll help you fulfill your purpose and destiny!

And that's what it's really all about girl! More than anything, you wanna fulfill purpose and destiny, right? There's one person out there who God has for you that when you connect with him, you'll begin to see that your dreams will be more awakened, that your journey towards your destiny will be more livelier - and Oh, did I mention that when you're with the guy God's got for you, your relationship with HIM grows stronger? That's how you know God's in the center of your relationship!

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2008):

You can't make anyone believe in God. I've tried with my ex before, and it didn't work. It's one thing to make someone believe in God and it's another for them to pursue God. Even if he does believe in God, you still wont have anything to talk about unless you pursues his personal relationship with God. One suggestion I have is simply let go of your own 'Savior Complex' personality. A lot of us girls have this because we think we can change someone. But all-in-all it's not up to us. And wishing that the person we love could be something/someone else is plain selfish. It's unfair to him and ourselves.

I've learned in the past is you just have to accept them. No one changes because you want the best for them, people change because they realize it themselves. And when you two have a conflict, it's not always because he's not "spiritual" enough, but simply because there's miscommunication or clash in personality. Not every conflict or unsimilarities are due to the fact that you two have different beliefs.

Sorry if I'm blabbing so much. I'm must speaking from experience. I've been on both sides of the spectrum. And honestly it sucks to be in either. That's why we should be wise before we get into a relationship, and know what we're getting ourselves into so we can prepare for it and not see conflict as something unexpected.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

exactly! :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

Hey Ms anonymous regular agony aunt,

Those are the bits of the bible I like, and it's the type of Christianity are more familiar with. It's what my family and friends believe. When I became an agnostic, (later an atheist) they spent time talking with me and trying to understand my beliefs. They also explained why they believed and we has some very strong discussions about the matter. But they didn't reject me, they don't seek to convert me. Their relationship with God is something that's personal and gives them strength and love in their life. They are horrified when I tell them about some of the Christian views on offer on this site. The idea of trying to convert people, or avoiding them because they don't share your beliefs would be seen as sinful.

I love your quotes, these are the things that pull me, a non-believer to the bible again. This young girl would be sensible to listen to you, and find more scriptures like that, instead of some of the fundamentalist, non-welcoming Christianity that is often on offer on this site.

Fade, I'm an atheist. How can I send anyone to hell. I don't believe in such things, just the same way I don't believe in heaven and I don't believe in God. I use the language of Christianity to speak so this young girl can understand me. As you say, it's only your God that can decide your place in heaven and hell, and surely not an atheist on a dear cupid board. I don't understand why some Christian's can't show more faith in your God. Isn't he the finally judge, isn't it his job to decide who will believe and who will not. Why dose he need protection, seems like if he can create everything in the world, insults won't hurt him at all. Surely he knows everything and can do everything, why would such a great being need so much protection? I really don't understand.

I don't understand that comment about mud and fireballs, so I would ignore it, it makes no sense to me, the only thing I understood is that he used your name and he thinks he's funny, NOT.....

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A female reader, _Jeni_ United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2008):

_Jeni_ agony auntSorry if you got offended by my comment but what you said in your question made me think that you were trying to empose your religion on him.

Thats awesome if he is interested in your religion, grate that you can tell him all about it!

All the best

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

I am a regular Aunt on this site, but I do not believe in bringing my personal religious believes onto this site. So I prefer to answer you anonymously.

I do not believe this site is for the purpose of debating any form of religion.

I have followed this thread and as a Christian, I wish to advice you the following:

1 John 3:18 Our love must NOT BE a thing of WORDS and fine talk. It must be a thing of action and sincerity.

Do not try to convince people to become Christians with words.

Matthew 7:16 You will know them by their fruits.

Start getting to know your Bible better, do more Bible study and pray. Do not try to convince others with words but with your action of being like Jesus...HUMBLE.

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A female reader, XxHollyWoodsxX United Kingdom +, writes (10 December 2008):

XxHollyWoodsxX agony auntIf He doesnt want to believe in God then there is no way you can make him.

He is entitled to his own opinion and if he isnt a christian then he has the right to not be a christian.

My boyfriend is a Hindu, and I am a christian, but I still love him with all my heart even though we have differnt religious views.

Learn To Accept eachothers views and respect them.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

Oh Fade you're such a New Testament girl, picking the nice fluffy bits.

Still its better than praying to a piece of mud opps..sorry thats changed now into a big bang, looks better on tv I guess.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (10 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

in response to ..

"A female reader, _Jeni_ +, writes (9 December 2008):

You CAN NOT get a person to believe in something they don't just coz your going out together!

I can see why he can get angry & start a fight over it!

I have a close friend who I have known since childhood & every time we get together for a chat he brings up god.

& trys to explain why I should be Christian..."

he didn't get angry at me

like i said "to him it was just a silly argument"

i know what you mean though i get annoyed at people like that too for putting people off god

so its really hypocritical of me i guess because im like that too but its hard to help and hard to be humble especially when people insult my god and my faith im just standing up for him and myself..

never said i was a very good christian!

"when i was 13-16 i thought i knew everything i thought church was stupid and a load of nonsense and that christians were all deluded freaks who are so annoying constantly trying to push their faith onto others. i was very anti-christian and did a lot of stupid things i reget."

... read my previous comments

"obviously i didnt go about it very well the first time with my bf but maybe there was something because later even though i had stopped bringing it up he kept on bringing it up wanting to know about it.

that worked alot better since instead of arguing against i was just answering his questions it was pretty fun too and such a relief from the arguing and we were both happy!

so im happy because he seems genuiely interested and i have faith in him :)"

wow this is awesome barely 2 days and 41 comments! even though some of them are from me lol thanks everyone! this is very exciting :)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Dear Poster, you understand the principals and like Fade you have explained clearly how it is possible to have faith and still not be stupid enough to deny the theory of evolution. Hopefully Ms Stephanie will listen to you, and change her views, cause at the moment she dose sound pretty stupid to me.

PS: Of course, I totally disagree, cause the problem is "thence who created God?"

PPS: The reference to mental illness was not directed at you

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Dear Poster,

Lord gave us wisdom.He never asked us to be fools.

Check this link out on Einstein.

http://www.skeptically.org/thinkersonreligion/id8.html

If you really want to convert other people,I suggest you do some homework before shooting off your mouth.

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A female reader, _Jeni_ United Kingdom +, writes (9 December 2008):

_Jeni_ agony auntYou CAN NOT get a person to believe in something they don't just coz your going out together!

I can see why he can get angry & start a fight over it!

I have a close friend who I have known since childhood & every time we get together for a chat he brings up god.

& trys to explain why I should be Christian.

The frustrates me very much as I have studied Christianity in a lot of depth so my opinion comes very well founded.

Its so annoying I can’t even begin to describe how annoying it is.

It’s ok to want to spread your religion & share it with people you love but you creating a void in your relationship that doesn’t have to be there.

Its like someone trying to make you like a band you just HATE, it become very, brain fryingly frustrating when someone harps on about something you just don’t want to know about.

You should stop this or you will push you b/f away.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks guys for all the postings!

especially StephanieRM 17 YRS OLD!

and dont worry i WILL marry a christian thats the most important thing to me when i do decide to get married

and not thinking about getting married anytime soon im still young haha

""Evolution is stupid. Noone has ever witnessed evolution with their naked eye." Stephanie (ms anonymous)

I'm not going to reply, cause it's too easy to disagree with this statement, it makes very little sense..."

..how is it too easy to disaagree with this statement and how does it make very little sense?

just interested to hear..

"Back when I was a teenager, I knew everything too. Remember those days, Diovan? It's like debating with someone that's mentally ill.

As we grow up, our world gets a little bigger"

.. when i was 13-16 i thought i knew everything i thought church was stupid and a load of nonsense and that christians were all deluded freaks who are so annoying constantly trying to push their faith onto others. i was very anti-christian and did a lot of stupid things i reget.

then i got some christian friends and was well fasicinated by their lifestyle and how happy and free they were i went to some of their yth groups and went to some christian concerts and things..

i grew up and my world got bigger and i realised how could this beautiful world have happened merely by accident and coindence? there had to be a driving force behind it all and even if the big bang and evolution was true where did that all come from? there must have been some sort of reaction that occured to set it all off.. there must have been SOMETHING. because how can something come from nothing? it cant there must have been something!

as einstein said haha.. "There are two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” - Einstein

and about evolution..

"Mickey Mouse evolves too. Once he could not speak. Now he can. Once he was only in black and white. Now he is in colour. Once he didn't have pupils. Now he does. Now he is becoming interactive. Each generation of Mickey Mouse is a little different, a little better. Mutations and change are occurring as Mickey Mouse and other cartoons adapt to the changing environment of media. But it doesn't happen without Disney.”

so anyway guys thats just a little bit of my "mental illness" for you! enjoy!

:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

I remember, but I always liked books, if she read more of them, maybe it might help....

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

"Evolution is stupid. Noone has ever witnessed evolution with their naked eye." Stephanie (ms anonymous)

I'm not going to reply, cause it's too easy to disagree with this statement, it makes very little sense...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Indeed, especially since I don't believe in such things....lol

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Never marry a non Christian. Your beliefs are set in stone (or should be). As a non believer his beliefs are flexible and swayed by public opinion and fashion. Tread carefully.

God bless +

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Okay, i was in the same situation.

I have a boyfriend who ive been with for nine months and i love him to death! He's catholic and im christian (baptist) whatever you wanna call it. Anyways, he started to call my religion and what i believed in stupid.

I told him that the only was to recieve salvation is to Accept Christ into your heart and repent from your sins.

"So if i go out and kill someone...am i still saved?" he asked. I replied back saying "Yes, but once someone accepts christ into their heart and actually take it seriously, then there should be no reason to be faced with killing someone. but God does forgive and once you have accepted Christ into your heart and fully believe in him, you cannot be unsaved." Every now and then my boyfriend and I would talk about religion and little by little he started becoming more involved in it. A friend of his asked him to come to youth and he agreed. That night i recieved a text message from my boyfriend saying "Wow, tonights youth was amazing, i cant even put to words how touching and how incredible it was. The music. The people. The way they would lift their hands high and praise God...I accepted christ into my heart. I just cant even explain how amazing it was." When i read that i almost cried.... NEVER give up on someone you love. NEVER.

Do you want a loved one to be not saved and to not have accepted christ into their heart because you didnt talk to them more about it? NO! You want your loved ones with you in the kingdom of heaven don't you?

Sadly, my boyfriend is running low on faith.

He NOW is questioning science, which in my opinion is stupid. Evolution is stupid. Noone has ever witnessed evolution with their naked eye. Science is not always correct. You have observation after observation. Trial after Trial. I am still trying to help my boyfriend recover and guide him in the right path, because i love him dearly and care so much about him.

Dont lose hope.

When you give up on someone you love, its like losing faith.

Dont lose faith.

Faith is what gets you by in life.

Without Faith, you have nothing

StephanieRM

17 YRS OLD.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

"How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning. How art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations.....For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north." (Isaiah 14:12-13)

Hey Fade your right, I guess most Jamaican protestants have been taught the story wrong... I looked it up on google...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

You know what, I really liked that answer, maybe I was wrong, and I should apologize to you, cause it takes a lot of strength to be able to come back and say those things.... lol

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

ok!

well thanks all you guys for your negative comments telling me im a "bad gf" and "bad christian" and have "flaws" and am "naive closed and clueless" myself they were really very inspiring!

and a special thanks to Tisha-1 for all that copying and pasting and inserting of other religions names!

and thanks truly for the positive ones and parts in some :)

and thanks truly for the defence "In defense of this young girl, she is coming across judgmental, but she has a passionate love for God, He gave his only Son for her(us), and sometimes we get offended and 'stick' up for him...like we do for those we care about."

as i christian i want to share god with people i care about like my best friends and bf.

i tried to convert my best friends and it worked now theyre probably even stronger christians than me and wouldnt get into silly fights with people or even need or want to post a thing up on here and were all going to parachute as one of our celebrations it will be awesome!

i wanted to see some peoples opinions on here about converting my bf though haha

obviously i didnt go about it very well the first time with my bf but maybe there was something because later even though i had stopped bringing it up he kept on bringing it up wanting to know about it.

that worked alot better since instead of arguing against i was just answering his questions it was pretty fun too and such a relief from the arguing and we were both happy!

so im happy because he seems genuiely interested and i have faith in him :)

so keep on telling me all that stuff about not being able to force him and being a bad gf/christian and that i will go to hell haha

and maybe i am really pushy and forceful well thats just my personality

and maybe i have just so much faith in god and people and myself that i suffer from too much pride and vanity

but i have faith

and thats better than no faith!

:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Wonderful aunts and uncles, but I doubt this young girl will listen... It looks to me like she's right on her way to hell.... Lucifer was one of gods angels, but he got throw out of heaven because he suffered from too much pride and vanity. She's gonna join him there...

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Ok, a lot of what you've been saying is naive, closed and clueless, something you've accused all non-christians (a large proportion of the worlds population) of being. And seeing as the values of Christianity are bascically to love and accept everyone, turn the other cheek ect. it wouldn't appear that you're doing a very good job of it.

What if your boyfriend tried to force you to drop your views, accept his, and become an atheiest? Would you? I'm guessing, no. You can't force someone to believe what you believe, and trying will most likely frustrate you and anger him. Either accept him and love him as he is, or dump him and date only Christians in future. It really is as simple as that.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

As a christian, I'm questioning why you let your heart fall in love with a nonbeliever? The bible cautions us to not be unequally yoked? What does light have in common with darkness? As the other poster said, you could've invited him to church to see if his heart would be open to receiving Jesus. If he is not, then you will won't have peace or agreement in this relationship, and worse, he could lead you into worldly problems. In short, you will be miserable.

I'd like to add for other posters, only God judges the heart. I think I'll be shocked to see people I never thought could be there, and shocked to NOT see people I know. I don't think we should be looking to (mortal) MAN for answers...answers or theories that change with uncertainty, and not to religion, but to the only piece of evidence that has stood the test of time. The Bible. God says if you seek Me you will find Me. There is no greater love than His. Sorry if I'm so preachy, I'm only human with my share of faults, but I'm trying...my life isn't easy, but has joy and hope. Love,

In defense of this young girl, she is coming across judgmental, but she has a passionate love for God, He gave his only Son for her(us), and sometimes we get offended and 'stick' up for him...like we do for those we care about.

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (9 December 2008):

Tisha-1 agony auntHas it ever occurred to you that you might be someone who could be considered naive and closed and clueless?

["and to me other people seem naive and closed and clueless for not knowing and not believing"]

Maybe your boyfriend thinks this about you? He doesn't want to hurt your feelings but is willing to overlook this one flaw in you?

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A female reader, Tisha-1 United States + , writes (9 December 2008):

Tisha-1 agony aunt"ok well id apreciate answers from muslims..

this is important because as a muslim i believe in god

and to me other people seem naive and closed and clueless for not knowing and not believing and because i care about him i want him to not be one of those oblivious unknowing unware unsaved people that have meaningless lives and no purpose but live a better more purposeful life and have a better relationship with me! :)

its a muslim thing dont try to get it unless your open to it"

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"ok well id apreciate answers from jews..

this is important because as a jew i believe in god

and to me other people seem naive and closed and clueless for not knowing and not believing and because i care about him i want him to not be one of those oblivious unknowing unware unsaved people that have meaningless lives and no purpose but live a better more purposeful life and have a better relationship with me! :)

its a jewish thing dont try to get it unless your open to it"

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"ok well id apreciate answers from baha'is..

this is important because as a baha'i i believe in god

and to me other people seem naive and closed and clueless for not knowing and not believing and because i care about him i want him to not be one of those oblivious unknowing unware unsaved people that have meaningless lives and no purpose but live a better more purposeful life and have a better relationship with me! :)

its a baha'i thing dont try to get it unless your open to it"

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ok well id apreciate answers from sikhs..

this is important because as a sikh i believe in god

and to me other people seem naive and closed and clueless for not knowing and not believing and because i care about him i want him to not be one of those oblivious unknowing unware unsaved people that have meaningless lives and no purpose but live a better more purposeful life and have a better relationship with me! :)

its a sikh thing dont try to get it unless your open to it"

---

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Bravo Ms.Lestat Bravo!

To the Poster:

I am a christian myself.I don't force anyone else to become a christian.If him being a non christian is such a big issue shouldn't you have selected a christian as your boy friend?

People get into a relationship thinking that they will make each other happy.A relationship is not a religion changing or personality changing class.

I think that you are young.Remember the good Samaritan.Wasn't he a better person than the person who believed in the lord.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Babes, you are very young, and your language is offensive. It's no wonder your boyfriend wants none of your type of Christianity, and refuses to believe what you believe... Your the one who has to change, you have to find humility and give in with grace.

"naive and closed and clueless"..... yep that's a perfect description of you... I was very serious when I told you to read your bible, and memorize your scriptures... haven't you read "Judge not least you be judged".. I was a committed Christian until I turned 12, all of my family and friends are Christians, and I know a lot about their beliefs and can quote the bible with ease. I was not joking when I said your a bad Christian. Only a bad Christian would turn another human away, did your Jesus Christ not say "treat your enemy as your friend"....

It is not your job to convince people, God and Jesus are strong enough, they don't need you to bully people to come to them. They know what's in your boyfriends heart, and at the last call, they will decide whether to accept him or not. By your words your place in heaven is in doubt. You show a lack of love and kindness for other human beings, and love is the message that your God and your Jesus preached. Vanity, you prize vanity and arrogance and this is not Christianity, you need to look deep into your heart, because you have sins that you need to overcome...

It's your version of Christianity that is in question. You bully, you reject, you seek to force.... Jesus never did that. Jesus told a very simple story.. He asked people to follow him and become "fishermen of men" and they did. Jesus only had to say follow me, he didn't scream and shout and call people idiots because they did not believe.. No force, no bullying, you either believe or you do not. Again, I say, if you cannot convince him with your good works, your pure heart, your beliefs and your arguments, then leave him alone. You are at fault here, your Christianity is not the one that Jesus preached. Jesus came to convince sinners to bring him to their world. He didn't reject anyone that didn't believe, he was able to show them miracles, give them comfort and love. A arrogant Christian is the worse kind of thing, and again I tell you to read your bible, because you are guilty of the sin of pride and arrogance and your boyfriend may reach heaven before you do. Your god is love, he dose not believe in force. If your boyfriend will believe, it's because of the beauty of your God, and not because you bully him and force him to believe. Read your bible, stop listening to preachers that are human beings, and twist the words of your religion into a hateful thing. Only the bible can teach you the word of God and what he preaches... Love more and believe that God can work this out. Take some time in prayer and ask God to heal your heart of your pride, vanity, and arrogance and ask him to bring your boyfriend to him, this is the only way, and is the truth path to being a good Christian.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

i am a christian too and i believe in god but you need to see that it's his choice and you aren't going to be able to change that so maybe you should just stop trying and respect his decision.

hope everything goes well

xxx

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

I'm not surprised that you haven't managed to convince him if your opinion of non believers is, as you stated,"naive and closed and clueless", and that non- believers have meaningless lives with no purpose. How would you apply that sort of conclusion to, say, a non Christian- by which presumably you would include Sikhs, Hindus, or members of any other religion than yours- doctor, who spends their life saving those of others, and someone who might be a criminal and yet happens to believe in god? What gives you the right to judge others' lives as meaingless? Never mind converting him, you will surely drive your boyfriend away with your attitude towards non- Christians by using the language that you have used here which is extremely offensive, although possibly flags up your young age and inability to construct a sophisticated argument.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks ill try some of that stuff

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A male reader, crazydirtyred United States +, writes (9 December 2008):

Well as a christian your job is to preach to others the word of god and Jesus lord, our savior. Tell your boyfriend about your experience and how you feel as a christian. Invite him to go to church and he shall accept to go with you at least once. You can't force anyone into anything, especially when it comes to beleiving. I'm not a christian myself even though I grew up as one. Now think of this for a minute, what if I was your boyfriend and I learned this whole new meaning about life and the world and has nothing to do with christianity. As a matter of fact it almost proves that religion is a parody where people confused the adoration that they have towards the sun and gave it a god, the earliest being called Horus, and the latest being called Jesus. I learned that the world is ending when the Sun's age is about 4,300 and becomes Supernova, enough to wipe out all living things on Earth. I can go on and on, but you have your beliefs, how would you feel if I try to force you into believing something you don't want to know about because you have different views towards the subject. Just give him an idea about religion, take him to church once or twice, and let him decide for himself. At the end, no matter the different views towards life and religion, you will still love each other and just because he isn't christian, it doesn't mean he will do all the things a christian wouldn't do. Except for a few small "sins" which won't even bother you I bet.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

but thanks guys for your posts!

even though i dont agree with some bits they sure helped!

:)

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

ok well id apreciate answers from christians..

this is important because as a christian i believe in god

and to me other people seem naive and closed and clueless for not knowing and not believing and because i care about him i want him to not be one of those oblivious unknowing unware unsaved people that have meaningless lives and no purpose but live a better more purposeful life and have a better relationship with me! :)

its a christian thing dont try to get it unless your open to it

anyway im definitely not going to argue with him about it again that was stupid totally the wrong way to go about it and a mistake and i regret it

but i believe in him and we love each other and we have a wonderful relationship and i know it will work out! :)

haha my own advice is better than anyone elses to me so far..

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

well DiovanLestat..

hard to explain to non believers

for me its like being a parent trying to teach their kid not to run across roads because they could get run over

but anyway im not going to force him

:)

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A female reader, Teacake United States +, writes (9 December 2008):

Teacake agony auntIs this important to you because you look up to him? By admiring him is it a challenge to thinking somewhere in your mind that you could be wrong because he does not think the same as you?

Most people I know who believe in God, aren't upset if someone else doesn't believe, because they don't need approval or anything like that to be strong in their belief.

The man I love so so much has totally different beliefs in just about everything! But yet, its his heart and spirit that I love, not his ideas.

Not everyone believes. Its nothing they can help. I personally don't believe in God, but I wish I could. You can't force yourself to believe in something that isn't in your heart. Just like you can't force yourself to like a color you hate or a food that makes you gag.... its something you can't talk anyone into.

Maybe one day something will spark off something in him to change, but you can't convince someone to believe something if they just don't.

Love him for who he is and please try to not force this on him and you will have a much better relationship!

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

Strange question.. It's not open to anybody else, except people that will help you to force your views and manipulate your boyfriend into something he doesn't believe in.

If your god is great and powerful, why not go and pray to him. If your boyfriend is meant to be in the hands of god, surely he doesn't need help from you to achieve it.

What is this, a loving relationship or a way to convert people to fill up your church. If you cannot prove by your beliefs arguments, and the way that you act that Christianity is the best way to go, I suggest you leave your boyfriend alone...

I would hate to be him, who wants to be forced to believe in something they don't. Another poor example of a bad Christian, I suggest you go and read the bible again, and you will realize that force just won't work.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

thanks for your help!

i cant accept that scene i know i cant

but i believe in him to believe in me and want what i want and yeah

i think it will work out :)

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A male reader, PeterPan United States + , writes (9 December 2008):

PeterPan agony auntFirst, a little background on me (because I think it's important to this story). I was raised in a religious Protestant family. My father was a minister in the Presbyterian church here in the States. He rose to a position of importance that would be roughly equivalent to a Arch Bishop in the Catholic church. When I was a child, I was with him on an ecumenical retreat and there was a reception line where all the other dignitaries were introducing themselves to him. One of them said to me, "You're going to be a great paster like your father, aren't you?" As a child, all I did was say yes and nod my head... as soon as that dignitary was out of range, my father bent down and looked me square in the eye and whispered, "I want you to do whatever you want to do. Don't feel like you need to follow in my footsteps. I will love you if you are President or a garbage man".

I'm tell you this in a more formal way of saying the old adage -- you can lead horse to water, but you can't make him drink. Personally, I suspect that you are not going to be able to convince your BF to take up any religious belief system that he doesn't want to discover for himself. He must decide for himself and want to take the steps for himself... and frankly, if he doesn't do it that way, I really don't think he's being honest with himself.

Probably another question to ponder is if you can live with a person in your life (on an intimate level) that doesn't share your same belief system. There are many happy couples out there that have completely different belief systems that are perfectly happy (and deeply love each other) as individuals and not casting judgements on each other because of it. It can work. The question really is if you can accept that scenario.

My opinions are my own. If you can garner some enlightenment from them, great. In my opinion, a lot of the world's problems are from religious intolerance (and that includes those that believe and those that don't because ultimately, it's all down to personal choice). Please prove me wrong by growing beyond what you desire to convert him to your beliefs and respect him for his beliefs... or at the least, believe in him enough to allow him to make his own choices...

Remember, this is just one man's opinion.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

you cant MAKE someone believe in him...the same way that someone cant make you NOT believe in him...you understand that?

if you dont accept him for who he is ....maybe this is not gonna last very long.

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A male reader, Austinalive United States +, writes (9 December 2008):

there's something i can tell you for sure: the more you'll try to make him believe the most he'll be pushed away. Doesn't God accept us wether we believe or not? doesn't love make us accept our partners instead of changing them?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 December 2008):

If you care about him, it shouldn't matter if he is Christian or a Scientologist or an Atheist.

Both of you just need to leave personal and religious beliefs out of the relationship.

I myself am an Agnostic. Which means I refuse point-blank to say either Yay, or Nay to the existence of any of the world's many worshipped Deities.

I simply use common sense and the innate sense of right and wrong that every human is born with. I know not to kill someone in cold blood. But I also know one should not be judged on their personal opinion.

You can't run from the truth. You can say you are not trying to convert him, but you are. Thats what we call it when you try to change someone's set way of thinking because you disagree with them.

Above all... never mistake Belief for Truth. Truth is reality and fact. Belief is unproven and faith-based assumptions.

My advice is to learn that the world is not one of absolutes.

Flynn 24

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