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How do I get my boyfriend back to the way he used to be?

Tagged as: Dating, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (1 August 2014) 1 Answers - (Newest, 1 August 2014)
A female United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

I am with my current bf for 4 years. We were best friends started dating 3 years back. He was currently in different state due to job and will be back in few months.

For past 2 years our relationship was going on fine, we used to talk about everything and anything, though we started dating we were still each others best friends. Now i could see some change in our relationship. He is not picking up calls, not calling me for days and weeks and even if he picks up talks to me for few mins and cuts the call. earlier he used to listen to me if i have some work related issues, nowadays he gets irritated even i bring up anything related to problems.

I stopped depending on him emotionally, i stopped reaching him when i was in trouble, stopped calling him once a day and waiting for his call. If he doesn't call me for few days then ill give him a call. I dont know what else he wants me to do, he is getting irritated for everything and anything. Verbally abusing me, i don't see the person i became friends with and fell in love with.

Is asking him to call me/talk to me at least once in two days is too much to ask for in a bf? Why doesn't he feel like talking to me when i still feel like talking to him at least once a day even after dating him for 3 years. I do have friends and hang out with them, still at the end of the day i feel like talking to my bf. Do i sound clingy, pls help me, what should i do to get my friend/bf back as before.

View related questions: best friend, fell in love

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A female reader, Honeypie United States + , writes (1 August 2014):

Honeypie agony auntI think he is done with the relationship, but doesn't have the nuts to end it.

So instead he treats you like you are annoying and irritating and he can't be bothered to listen to you or even call you.

My suggestion is to SIT him down when you are face to face and TALK this out. TELL him what you NEED from him and how the current situation makes you feel.

When is being verbally EVER OK in a relationship? (at all even). Why do you allow it now? Because you are so worried he will walk away that you suck it all up hoping it will make him stay?

I'm sorry to say it, I think the relationship is over (at least from his side). The fact that the two of you can't even TALK about this after 4 years together kind of shows why you have problems.

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