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How do I get married without hurting my parents? I want to convert and they don't want me to

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Question - (27 June 2017) 3 Answers - (Newest, 28 June 2017)
A female India age 30-35, anonymous writes:

How do I get married without hurting my parents?

My bf and I are 29 and in a relationship for the last 9 years. He is a Christian and I am a Hindu. I have been practicing Christianity since I was 14 years old. Back then I used to visit temples and church as well. But as I grew up my faith shifted completely to Christianity and I have not practiced Hinduism since then. I accompany my Mom to temples as I don’t want to hurt her.

My parents are not conservative and they don’t mind me practicing Christianity. I have always wanted to convert to Christianity and planned to do it while getting married to my bf. Both our families have met. Both families get along really well and are looking forward to our marriage. My bf puts God above all and he wants us to get married in a Church. So, do I. To do this I have to convert to Christianity. My parents don’t want to me convert and they want me to get married without converting. I have told my parents my desire and my bf’s wish but they are not so happy about it. How do I go about this without hurting my parents?

I don’t want to create an unwanted stress between the two families and create an issue. Both the families might discuss about the conversion in the near future and I want it to go smoothly. Any suggestions or opinions would be helpful. Thanks in advance.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2017):

Hi Denizen,

Thank you for you reply.

Trust me I'm not doing this for the wedding. I have found solace and peace with Christ during my lowest. I have always wanted to convert but didn't know how to go about it. I was into Christianity long before I met my bf.

I attend spiritual retreats, visit Church etc. It has become a part of me. I respect all religions and I believe every individual have the right to stick to what they believe in.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2017):

Since your parents have no objection to the marriage you should convince your bf to meet your parents half way and accept a civil marriage. Once you are married and independent of your parents you can do whatever you like. This is the problem with new converts to any religion,they become very devout to the new faith and dont accept any deviation from the rules. In my opinion he should agree to a civil marriage if he loves you.

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A male reader, Denizen United Kingdom +, writes (27 June 2017):

Denizen agony auntYou must look into your heart and seek the right reason for converting. Your faith should NOT be chosen to please your husband or your family.

You don't even have to go to church to be Christian. Do not get tied down with dogma.

One option, if you are leaning towards Christianity, is to join the Society of Friends, The Quaker Movement. You can be a Buddhist Quaker, a Hindu Quaker or any other sort.

It might be worth your attending one of their meetings and see how you get on.

This isn't just about the wedding is it? Please tell it isn't.

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