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How do I get her to want sex more?

Tagged as: Age differences, Health, Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 March 2017) 6 Answers - (Newest, 1 April 2017)
A male United States age , *hrywizard writes:

I am in a relationship with a sag woman, I'm a virgo.

We have been together for 7 months and about 2 months ago we had sex for the first time. We both seemed to enjoy it and I was able to make her orgasm ( better then last lovers according to her) however in 2 months we have only had sex twice. When I try to start something she makes an excuse and I am left un-fulfillex. She says she had lost the urge when she had been using herion. But she is clean now and has been for over a year, so how do I get her to want sex more? I am not a must have it all the time but 1 or 2 times a week would be nice. She is 41 and I'm 60. All my plumbing works without a blue pill but I'm afraid the saying use it or lose it may become a factor.

Any advice on what I can do to inspire her would be nice... I have even tried sensual massages. (That's what lead to our second time, but now she won't allow the massages to go "to far".

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A female reader, Hellie  United Kingdom +, writes (1 April 2017):

Well as someone who has wanted sex constantly with some people and never with others (I'm female) I'm certain to say a few things... Firstly communication, trust are both very important, if a man has been lieing to me or keeping things from me don't expect me to want you... Not saying you have but if you have then there's the problem. Secondly spontaneity... God I hate it when I can feel a guy needs sex, I feel pressured to want to have sex too... Don't expect... And take her by surprise, heat things up a bit and then go do something else.

Understand she doesn't want sex all the time so just kissing her won't lead her to the bedroom in minutes.

Make it feel like she can kiss you without wanting sex, then when she least expects it tell her you really want her, eye contact is a massive one for me.

I love an intense eye lock when we both know whats going to happen, I love watching them get more and more turned on, in other words... Chemistry and spontaneity. Good luck xx

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A female reader, aunt honesty Ireland +, writes (22 March 2017):

aunt honesty agony auntI think you need communication more so than actually trying to seduce her. A relationship should not be that difficult. You need to speak to her about the intimacy.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 March 2017):

That is just weird.

Why would a woman not want to have sex with you if she is attracted to you?

I am a Sag woman. My boyfriend is a Virgo.

He is in his 60's. I am in my 40's.

I am all over him sexually. Day and night. He has to put on the brakes because he can't keep up! Never me!

I wear him out.

Not sure what her problem is?

You might need to find a woman who is sexually compatible with you. It doesn't appear this woman is your sexual match. And sex is very important.

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A female reader, Andie's Thoughts United Kingdom +, writes (13 March 2017):

Andie's Thoughts agony auntIt's possible age is a factor for her realising she's not sexually into guys your age. She may not feel the relationship is working for her. She may think you focus too much on sex. Plenty of possibilities. She's also realised you only gave her massages to try to initiate sex.

Ask her nicely. It's possible she doesn't want sex so soon or isn't as into you as she thought, especially after you kept going after sex.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2017):

I think that she isn't telling you the real reason why she isn't keen on sex.

Could it be that she felt your relationship just moved too fast, and she wants to slow things down because she didn't intend on sleeping with you only 2 months into the relationship?

OR I would wonder how physically attracted she is to you? I am sure you are an attractive man, and I am all for age differences (am in a relationship with about your age difference myself). However, in this case since she seems unenthusiastic is it possible she is just using you for security and comfort, while actually not being attracted to you?

Could she be sleeping with someone else?

Finally, maybe she is just one of those women without a very high sex drive. Maybe she even thought your age difference would work out well because of that. Who knows?

I think you need to try to talk to her more about the issue and see if you gain insight.

How do you inspire her?

It sounds like you should just continue what you are doing. Be a caring and great partner. Fulfill her daily needs and be kind. Then cuddle and be sensual, see where it leads.

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A female reader, Ciar Canada + , writes (13 March 2017):

Ciar agony auntBesides health issues, more often than not when a woman loses interest in sex, it's because the rest of the relationship isn't quite working for her.

Everything outside the bedroom is foreplay, so turn your attention to that. She either hasn't sorted out what's bothering her enough to talk about it or she doesn't believe talking would help. Perhaps begin by quietly observing the dynamics between you.

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