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How do I find out who this phone number belongs to? It was in his phone and it's driving me crazy!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Marriage problems, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (28 November 2006) 21 Answers - (Newest, 22 December 2008)
A female , anonymous writes:

My husband left me a few weeks ago I thought everything was fine, we are back together now but while we were seperated the mobile phone bill came and I noticed a number so I went though his phone and found it under the name jon so I phoned it and asked for Jon she told me he was at work so I thought i was being silly, a few days later I went though his phone again and found it under another name, one night he came round and a ask him if he was having an afair he said he wasnt so i rang this number but no one answered we havent had a phone bill since but I went online and downloaded the phone bill and he had text her at the time I was phoning I need to no who this phone number belongs to any ideas how i can find out I am going crazy not noing

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 December 2008):

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"I went through the same thing with my ex boyfriend. We were living together and his phone would go off with a text message in the middle of the night, he used to drink a lot so one night when he was in a deep sleep I discovered the texts were from a woman he had met on a lads weekend abroad, I rang her to find out more, she knew nothing about me etc. To cut a long story short she continually texted him and they met behind my back a couple of times, she knew we were still together, eventually I kicked him out as I couldn't bear the pain of knowing the man I loved (and who had said loved me) go off and shag another woman. We had many arguments and he broke about 3 mobile phones in temper at me finding out about the 'mysterious' texts and phone numbers. If it wasn't for mobile phones and emails many couples would still be together! My man went ballistic that I'd been through his private things, only for me to discover he was a liar and a cheat - he ended up the loser when I kicked him out for good!"

All i can say is wow, thats almost exactly like what happened with my ex!, and back on topic, my ex did put this other girls number in his phone under a male name, thinking i wouldnt find out what he was doing (thats man thinking for you!), he eventually left me for this girl, who then dumped him a couple of weeks later, so i gave him a second chance..... big mistake, he did exactly the same again, with two other girls and then the same girl he originally dumped me for in the first place.... rule of thumb... once a cheat always a cheat.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 June 2008):

I was trying to find out the same thing, a phone # in my boyfriends phone and thats how I ended up on this web site. Go with your gut. thats been reliable for me 98% of the time. people should`nt have to get to this point, that is unless something got you started to begin with.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (25 April 2008):

The only way you can find out by yourself is to ring it and then take it from there if its a woman.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (11 February 2008):

for your on sake if there is no trust between you and your partner then it will just cause argements and eventualy cause you to split up.you should determine why you don't trust him has he ever cheated before or have you had a string of bad relationships these may be related to the situation.if the texts carry on confront him about the phone or follow him in a car when he goes out but if you cannot prove that he is cheating then it will just make you look out to be the bad one

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2007):

Dont look at his phone. It comes to mind the relationship is not healthy, otherwise you would have no reason to question it. I would look at you relationship first before you start wondering about the phone. Without trust there is point for it to go on, and how would you feel if it was the reverse?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 November 2007):

I'm having the same thing going on with my fiancee at the moment. The number is save under a male name, so I called it and pretended that I knew her saying hi it's Beth here and she said, oh hi... then I said oh sorry is this Holly and she said no it's Jill. I have since checked on line and he has contacted her heaps. He claims she is a school friend and wanted to congratulate us on the birth of our child, but I think its bullshit. Where do you live? Maybe we could get together an suss it out.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (4 November 2007):

Firstly it is against the data protection act to reveal who owns what phone in the UK. US and Canada you can find out the inside leg measurment of the owner. All links on http://www.freeality.com/finde.htm are to US sites. I have the same problem. Someone we know is texting rude stuff to my wife and she don't know who it is thats why I'm here to try and find out if there was a good response to your question.

Secondly, not all blokes are like that. I would die for my wife, so unless you have definate proof let it go or it will worm in between you both and there will be only one outcome. Good luck

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2007):

im so sorry to hear this about all men are DOGS they will never be loyal to us ladies your better off without him love.Goodluck.

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A female reader, igby Australia +, writes (24 July 2007):

igby agony auntThe "jon" dilemma is much deeper than discovering who this person is, and what there agenda is.I sense there are some trust issues on your behalf, which is normal considering there was a period of when you split up. You have a few options,

You can be sneaky, go behind his back, and try and unearth who this mysterious "jon" is, call or text using a different number, get someone else to make the call or even go to the extent of pretending to be your husband and txt with a suggestive message.

OR

You can confront you husband on the matter, and say thats its driving you mad and that if "jon" is who your husband says he is, then why the need to change the name the number was under...

OR

You can trust him, stop going through his phone, and tell yourself that your husband is lucky to be with you.

Hope you figure it out

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (24 July 2007):

get a new sim card then text jon from hubbys phone giving the new number, then text from new number saying "will have to stick to texting for a few days as mrs nearly found out, text back soon, miss you x" see what happens.

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A male reader, the truth man United Kingdom +, writes (23 April 2007):

What can i say this must be doing your head in . you could try calling the number and see who picks up the call the other end or just call it and see who takes the call , or the big one is tex the number and see what they send back.

The truth man

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (30 November 2006):

I went through the same thing with my ex boyfriend. We were living together and his phone would go off with a text message in the middle of the night, he used to drink a lot so one night when he was in a deep sleep I discovered the texts were from a woman he had met on a lads weekend abroad, I rang her to find out more, she knew nothing about me etc. To cut a long story short she continually texted him and they met behind my back a couple of times, she knew we were still together, eventually I kicked him out as I couldn't bear the pain of knowing the man I loved (and who had said loved me) go off and shag another woman. We had many arguments and he broke about 3 mobile phones in temper at me finding out about the 'mysterious' texts and phone numbers. If it wasn't for mobile phones and emails many couples would still be together! My man went ballistic that I'd been through his private things, only for me to discover he was a liar and a cheat - he ended up the loser when I kicked him out for good!

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A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (29 November 2006):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

If you have instinct that something dosn,t add up. You are probably right. I think us ladies have a natural ability to catch out liar's. Saying that though, if he is back with you, maybe he wants to make it work. Even if he has done something while he was away, could you not forgive him for it. It will be good for you to know the truth, I know I would want to know. See if you can find out, but be carefull, if he is inocent, it will be looked at that you dont trust him. At least if you find out something, you can decide what, if any action you want to take.

It is hard to forgive a man for cheating, but not impossible. It depends on how much you love him I guess. I know there are a lot of ladies out there, that would never forgive there partner cheating. Maybe there right, I was one of them until it happened to me. But when it came down to it, I have tried to forgive, but I never forget it. That is fairly hard to live with. It depends on the circumstances, dont you think?.

Well, good luck to you. And remember what-ever the outcome.

TIME HEALS ALL XX

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (29 November 2006):

why not just try asking your husband, since you're supposedly working things out?

then, consider whether snooping is good for building trust. (not to chide you; your lack of trust may be completely legitimate, but it will take work from both of you to rebuild.)

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A male reader, guylostinlove +, writes (29 November 2006):

Don't think I read anyone suggesting this ...

When he's asleep .. take his cell phone and dial that number a few times. But don't speak into it ... maybe make it seem like the phone has bad reception. The person, if they know your husband, will dial back. Whomever that number belongs to (male/female) should be the one calling back.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006):

i know i sound crazy but try to ask him about who he was on to that night.Ask him if it was male or female and then you have a bettter clue ask if they are young or old you can judge by the voice and then put it on loud speaker if u have one and confrort him then if she sound the part let it go otherwise tell him to go bags packed

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A female reader, jessekk69 United Kingdom +, writes (28 November 2006):

jessekk69 agony aunttry phoning it from a phone box. or if you in the uk 141 is so it comes up as unknown.

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A female reader, beautifulliar +, writes (28 November 2006):

Hi there,

Do you think the number might actually be for some guy named Jon? After calling the number, asking for Jon and finding that he was at work, it sounds to me like the number may actually belong to Jon. Maybe your husband made a new male-pal. It is somewhat suspicious that the number ended up under another name at a later date, but who knows it may be nothing.

Anyway, try entering the number into google. I have had lots of luck pulling up numbers from there. If that doesn't work try http://www.freeality.com/finde.htm

They have reverse phone number look-ups and links to other sites that may provide even more information, but you often have to pay for the greater detail. It might be worth it to you for your own peace of mind. Good luck and I hope everything works out for you.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006):

Phone the number from a public phone in the middle of the day, this way the number will not show up on the mobile phone and the person might answer. You might recognise the voice.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2006):

you may have already gone crazy

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A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (28 November 2006):

eyeswideopen agony auntgoogle it and see what you get.

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