A
female
age
30-35,
*hats_not_my_name
writes:hey! basically i've been going out with this guy for just over a week now and it's going really well. trouble is, his last relationship ended really badly and consquently he has some self esteem issues. he asked me the other day if i find him physically attractive at all. i told him that of course i did. but whilst i am attracted to him physically, he's not really hot or one of those guys that everyone finds attractive. i'm far more attracted by his personality. this is normal for me, i'm often more attracted to a guy due to personality over looks and tbh i'm glad i feel that way. but how can i show him this? i need him to realise that his looks don't really matter to me, but cannot think of a way to tell him without hurting his feelings. any advice for what to say if he asks me a similar question again? thank you :)
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (19 October 2008):
Do you know what made me so depressed as a teen?
I could never get a boyfriend as I wasn't pretty or anything and my friends would see a guy and try and get him to go out with me and they'd go over and say "she's such a wonderful person she has such a great PERSONALITY."... and I would go home and cry.
Great Personality is just a nice way of saying ugly.
DO NOT respond that you think he has a nice personality when he asks if he's attractive.
You have to tell him that if he wasn't attractive you wouldn't be with him. Then every time he asks just say "Am I going out with you?"
You have to show him that doubting himself is silly, and he needs to help himself out of his low self esteem.
Good Luck!! xx
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