A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:i'm almost 30 and completely ungrounded. the person i relate to most (that took ages to meet), is unfortunately a former heroin addict who has just relapsed big time. last night, i pretty much told him that i don't want to talk to him until he's clean. i don't know if we'll ever talk again even after he gets off this binge, if he even survives it. yes, he is my ex boyfriend, but out of all my exes, he felt like a spiritual friend the most.my old friends who i do value...i just don't feel very connected to them, and i don't know if they feel any more connected to me. my heroin addicted friend-we had some type of deep creative connection, and there was absolutely no taboo between us. i guess the biggest thing is not his loss (although i'm worried for his life), but the fact that i feel not much closeness with my other friends. right now, i don't even live near them, and am living in a city w/ my family where it has always been difficult to meet people (when i moved away from here quite a while ago, it was not that difficult to meet people compared to the difficulties i had in my home city). i don't know how to survive this. i takes me forever to find friends i feel so alive around, and he really meant something to me. i feel like i should just prepare for old age and eventual complete deterioration. help.
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female
reader, pinktopaz + ♥, writes (8 August 2009):
Of course the only person that can really help him is himself. If he doesn't want to get clean he won't. The sad thing with drugs like heroin, is that they will choose the drug over people that they love. I think if you really care about him and want to be with him that you should try to be supportive if he does want to get clean. They are usually codependent people and need someone to help them, otherwise he's just going to be around other people doing the same drugs and he won't ever get off of them. It's all his choice.
Otherwise, if he doesn't want to get clean then find friends thru work, volunteer groups, church...whatever. Even if you decide to go for a night out with a girlfriend that you don't care too much for, you may get to know her better and like her better than you thought you did, it's also good for networking and meeting new people.
A
female
reader, thatgothgirl20 +, writes (7 August 2009):
 Go online and find some friends. Make friends at work. Do whatever it takes to put you first.
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