A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm having a hard time getting my boyfriend to communicate with me. He never tells me what's wrong but shows that there clearly is something. Everything could be fine then a little later he can just turn on me and start speaking to me differently and snapping at me. Though he will still insist nothing is wrong. He won't even agree to have a conversation about it. What do I do? Because I'm getting tired of him randomly snapping at me, whether it was something I did or something else I'll never know, then firmly being told to drop it and act like nothing happened. How on earth do I deal with things upsetting him?! I've tried to talk to him about it he gets mad and says I'm pushing like a spoiled child. I've tried to ignore it and carry on as normal but if anything this makes him mad for longer. Like he's annoyed I haven't ackwloedged he's upset. Tldr: how do I deal with someone who wants to make it clear their upset but I'm always in the wrong whichever way I approach it or ignore it Reply to this Question
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male
reader, BrownWolf  +, writes (13 August 2015):
This is the difference between men and women....Most men feel weak and girlish when we are ask to express ourselves. We normally go off and cool down, think about things and come back as if nothing happened. Trying to force a man to express himself is like lighting the fuse on a stick of dynamite.
NEVER force a man to express himself. He is not a woman who is more comfortable with her emotions. You force him, you lose.
Want him to talk?? Simple...When you see he is upset about something...one word applies...and only one word....PATIENCE !!! Women want to find out right now what is wrong with her man so she can help him fix the problem. Men however are fixers. You cannot help a fixer to fix themselves by forcing them to talk. He needs a few minutes to proceed his feelings.
So...give him a few minutes, then walk over to him, take his hand and head for the couch or bed...anywhere you can sit comfortably. Then in a calm and PATIENT voice, ask him what is wrong. Do not over react to what he says, and do not raise your voice...the key to a man opening up is actually very simple...TALK.
You yell at him, he yells back and storms off. No one in this world has ever succeeded in a relationship by arguing. The word communicate does not mean argue.
Want your man to listen to you...same thing...sit him down and TALK...calmly and PATIENTLY.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke  +, writes (13 August 2015):
 This is his way of punishing you for whatever it is you've done. It's very childish.
As Denizen says, communication is vital in relationships. If your boyfriend can't communicate, your relationship will go nowhere.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (13 August 2015):
 Communication is a vital part of a relationship. Too many things in life go wrong because a person imagines, or has to imagine what the other is thinking. It's impossible. We don't have a degree in crystal-ball-reading.
Say, 'I want to have an adult conversation with you'. And then speak what's on your mind.
If there are deep psychological reasons why he can't open up to you, then put something in place to get professional help. If he is just being sullen and moody issue an ultimatum.
You can't run your life trying to second guess whatever is piquing him at the moment.
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