A
female
age
,
*ashful3
writes:I have a bad problem I need to learn how to say no better especially to my husband s oldest sister, we have only been married a year August 1st this year.We got married fast which I am now saying we were pressured anyways she is Power of attorney was their s mom s to she is bossy controlling overbearing and still wants to run things, he suffers with grand mal seizures she is a pain I do not like her.She once again and I lied invited us out tomorrow afternoon to a boat ride and dinner she is to pick us up at about 5 which she probably be late that burns me up I have a 22 year old disabled daughter my sister will watch her we live same apartment building.When she ask us out I forced myself out lie saying yes when I wont to stay home stress worry right now I am tired and feeling nervous etc.She is Jehovah Witness and I forced myself to one meeting there have been other times so far I have not forced myself to go my daughter went this was at night started 7:30 that is another thing I do not like to go out of afternoons or night I do not go a lot at first I was like why cant my daughter go.She calls and I got kind of mad she was like no jeans dress like we are going to dinner some I have spoke to say you can dress casual gosh what kind of boat are we going on I do not have a lot of dress clothes another reason I am not into going out.So how do I get nerve up and say no oh another thing how do I enjoy myself not worry about my daughter she is not used to me being away from during the evening time
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2015): see a solicitor or legal advisor to see if you can transfer her power of attorny over your husbands financial status to your name as you are now his wife.Then you will control your own affairs financially and otherwise and she will loose her control over you entirely.
A
female
reader, Slippers  +, writes (16 August 2015):
I couldn't say it any better than abella other than chin up and it is your life .. x
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (15 August 2015):
 You most certainly do need some assertive skills to deal with however you also need to stop feeling guilty about doing so.
You do not have to give her a reason.
You do also have the right to change your mind.
If she has a hide like a rhinoceros then it is OK to give it back to her. The following responses are worth keeping in mind:
No, it is not convenient right now. Hope you enjoy it though.
No, it is not one of my priorities. Hope you enjoy it though.
No, I have other plans. Hope you enjoy it though.
Do not allow her to guilt trip you.
Responses to that can include.
Yes, I understand that you have already told them that we are coming. It is no longer convenient.
Yes, I understand that you think it will be "embarassing" if we do not attend. That is your problem, not mine, and I am sure that you have the skills to deal with your problem.
Yes, I understand that you are angry about this and that you have said that you will never invite me again. You are entitled to make that decision as it suits you. Just as my husband and I are entitled to make decisions that best suit our priorities.
Yes, I can see that you are taking this very personally. This is not about you, it is about my husband and I deciding how we want to spend our time together. Attending the ............is not something that has much appeal to other and as a result we have made other plans. I am sure you will have a lovely time.
Wear what you like.
If she has ever been on a classy cruise then she should know that casual clothing and resort wear is the norm in day time.
Jeans can be dressed up.
She sounds over-bearing.
Perhaps she has strict orders to recruit you?
Is the cruise a dinner and a speech encouraging you to believe that there is no other way then to become a JW?
Once again it is OK to say NO to her and remind her that you have your own faith and that you are satisfied with your own faith.
Your disabled 22 year old daughter and your husband are surely higher priorities than this woman who appears to only be happy if she has the upper hand.
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