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male
,
anonymous
writes: I have a friend with benefits, who I have been hooking up with for a short while. However, we have been very close friends for almost a year now. We are both very comfortable with each other, but I am extremely uncomfortable when we are doing anything sexual, but I don't want to be uncomfortable. I am 16 and still a virgin, but I want that to change. The problem is that every time she tries to give me head, or a handjob, I can't get hard, but I somehow can manage to get hard when we're just kissing or I'm feeling her. I need to get past getting head and a handjob before I can move on to having sex with her, or else it will be a disaster. I know this is the right girl for me, and nothing will convince me not to lose my virginity to her, so please don't try to talk me out of it. I just need advice on how I should deal with nervousness because it is affecting my sexual abilities.
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friend with benefits, hand-job, kissing, move on, still a virgin Reply to this Question |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, Yos  + ♥, writes (3 November 2006):
 I can only suggest that you think about what it would take for you to be her boyfriend and for her to be your girlfriend. After all, you know she is 'the right girl' for you. Hooking up with a 'friend with benefits' is a good way to get yourself into emotional difficulties. You may find that if both of you are in a more commited secure place with each other, your nervousness about sex will be easier to deal with.
A
female
reader, helpful girl  +, writes (3 November 2006):
 i wont try to talk you out of it. but i will say the reason may be because you are a virgin! is she aware of the matter of you being a virgin? because if not then if your comftorbel explaining to her that your a virgin will let her know automatically what she is to do, for exampel when your a virgin for a lad haveing a blow job or hand job will not work not nesarry as you will want to get your for skin more use to the up and down part you will get in sex! so may be explaining to her your a virgin then also just asking her to give you sex and when you get use to that to go into oral axsetra! youll find it work better that way.
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