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How do I deal with my husband's mood swings?

Tagged as: Health, Marriage problems<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (13 August 2008) 3 Answers - (Newest, 18 August 2008)
A female Ireland age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Dear Cupid

My husband has happy days where he is nice to me and other days where he is so critical and calls me lazy and horrible names. Extreme mood swings. We are married 2 years since yesterday. I have a 2.5 year old, 14 month old and I'm 16 weeks pregnant. I had ectopic preg in December 2007. He keeps at me over housework or in the evening when i rest on couch. Can't he see that i'm exhausted.he might be worried about work but i am a teacher and have a steady job. This behaviour is only directed at me, not children or any body else.o everyone else he is Mr. Cheerful and helpful and so nice and 'quiet'.

HELP!

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A female reader, lola80 Ireland +, writes (18 August 2008):

Firstly im so sorry to hear about your miserable anniversary , by the sounds of it ! He might have a drink problem and maybe he is an alcoholic , I dont want to sound drastic but believe me you dont have to drink everyday to be one ! Its a disease your born with and its a thinking disease ,my ex was one and was normally full of anger resentment self pity and so SELFISH and self obsessed with me myself and i and blame towards me for everything that was wrong !nothing was right he was the only person struggling or who had problems he had no empathy for me or anyone else for that matter ! Sound familiar ? nothing pleased him and he would have terrible mood swings up one minute down the next , he also left me in a hotel room pregnant to go of with strangers drinking , It took me a long time to realise what the problem was as they can be very manipulative and bring your self esteem down so low you start to believe its you thats the problem , especially when the outside world thinks there wonderful as they seem so nice to everyone , you should check out alanon on the website and see if you can relate to it it helped me a lot , either way its not all terrible in the end my ex is now 4 years clean and follows a 12 step programme to keep him from his as he call's ( stinking thinking ) , also there is a great book you should try and read its called a ghost in the closet, remember his behaviour is no reflection on you as a person , your probably trying to hold everything together on your own run the house and work and meet his needs but remember you need to look after yourself as much as possible and try and step back from his behaviour , i hope this is of some help and i havent frightened you more ... if want to ask me anything let me know hun ...

Take Care

xxxxxx

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A reader, anonymous, writes (17 August 2008):

This is verified as being by the original poster of the question

lola

thanks for replying. i did not mean to rate your response as one star,i thought you had to click each time!

i went away for a couple of nights for our second anniversary. Each night he went for a 'couple of drinks' in the hotel bar leaving me alone in room. I had to mind our two year old who would not stay home! Anyway, the first night he stayed out til 1.30a.m. and the next night 5.00a.m. drinking with strangers. So, so much for going away for our anniversary.

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A female reader, lola80 Ireland +, writes (13 August 2008):

Have you tried talking to him ? Is he abusing drink or drugs ? Maybe he is suffering from depression ? Has he seen a doctor? or is he very stressed out about money worries ! But it isnt an excuse to direct his abuse at his pregnant wife thats just being a bully especially if he is ok with everyone else !!!! Im sure any marraige with 2 small children and one on the way is very hard but rewarding and maybe he is worried and not coping very well ,Im not excusing his behaviour for one minute !1

you should try and sit him down and have a serious talk , and maybe if he wont talk to you , could you discuss this with someone he respects and see if they could help . But you should try and talk to family and friends for yourself as you need support love and help as you can't do it all on your own ! Pregnancy is hard enough !

Sorry i cant be of any other help as i dont know enough about this situation .

Take Care & God bless

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