| A
age
41-50,
*
writes: My daughter (who's 4) is scared of small spaces. She wont even go in an elevator unless (we live in apartment) I hold her the whole time. My son (he's 8) thinks its funny to lock her the closet (you cant open from the inside). It takes like an hour to calm her down if not more. Of course I give my son a time out and take away his xbox for the day then he gets all mad starts punching his sister or me (usually his sister). She starts crying and running to me. And since my husband died last year I have been feeling alone and stress out to the max. I need help. Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316  +, writes (27 December 2008):
 Correction. I was diagnosed in '92 with Bi-Polar..and sorry this computer times out and sometimes puts my post in twice.
When I get to HEAVEN.......then I WILL BE PERFECT
Thanks for reading my advice and the best to you all....
Always,
Blue_Angel
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (27 December 2008):
Hon I can feel your pain here. I was raising two little boys with ADHD and learning disablilites.
Boyfriends children who I retrieved from the family children services. One was the more kinder and gentle. The other was more aggressive and angry. The younger one who was the most gentle always wanted to do things to help the older one fought at me, hit his brother. My nerves were a wreck.
I am sorry that your husband has passed away. This only makes it harder for you. I am here to tell you that like my two boys your SON is a troubled young man. You need to seek professional counsel for him. He is terrorizing your daughter nnd making her problem worsen. You may be able to get her help by taking her to therapy. I suggest that you remove the locks from the doors where she could be locked in. Your son needs an outlet for his anger. Loosing his Dad could be part of his anger and aggression problems.
When he retaliates against you or your daughter when he is punished for hurting her that is his way of lashing out because he can't cope. Because he thinks it funny and you can't cope either, it puts you at witts end. I know from a point of view that you may need therapy also. My husband abandoned me in '91 with two children ages 11 and 12. I thought I was going to go crazy. They stopped going to school and fought all the time. We have been evicted from our home and I had no job. I struggled so. In '82 I was diagnossed Bi-Polar. Life was too hard and I just couldn't cope. I know how it can make you feel like just giving up.
I am here to tell you to BE STRONG and RELY on GOD! You are going to make it! Get your precious ones the help they need and for yourself also. Give them love and lots of it. Ask for help, there are many places you can go for this. Church,family, friends or youth services. mental health facilities. I am not sure in your country what all is available. Check your yellow pages.
The pain and suffering you are doing is actually making things worse for your children. IT ISN'T your fault! YOU ARE SUFFERING. You are having to readjust to not having the loving support of your husband. The children are having to readjust to not have Daddy. It's hard on all of you. I only wish I knew how to help you more.
At home or out in public just try to help your daughter by not taking her to places that fill closed in if you can help it. Take her to places that are filled with joy and open spaces, like a big park or a zoo. Gradually introduce her back into the smaller, confined areas a little at time. Continue to give that Mommy, loving support. I pray that she will grow out of it but I will say that at almost 52 years of age......I am STILL CLAUSTRPHOBIC! No need to worry though cause thru the years I have learned to deal with that too. I have FAITH that your son and daughter will be ok but it may be a long road to travel. Never give up and remember that YOUR HUSBAND IS THERE IN YOUR HEARTS and GOD has HIS WATCHFUL EYES UPON YOU.........HE WILL NOT FAIL IF YOU ONLY BELIEVE!
My best to you and your precious children. There is nothing like a MOTHER'S LOVE and you proved it by posting here asking for help. You are doing a great job already in taking care of GOD'S Precious GIFT to YOU!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
...............................
A
female
reader, Blue_Angel0316 +, writes (27 December 2008):
Hon I can feel your pain here. I was raising two little boys with ADHD and learning disablilites.
Boyfriends children who I retrieved from the family children services. One was the more kinder and gentle. The other was more aggressive and angry. The younger one who was the most gentle always wanted to do things to help the older one fought at me, hit his brother. My nerves were a wreck.
I am sorry that your husband has passed away. This only makes it harder for you. I am here to tell you that like my two boys your SON is a troubled young man. You need to seek professional counsel for him. He is terrorizing your daughter nnd making her problem worsen. You may be able to get her help by taking her to therapy. I suggest that you remove the locks from the doors where she could be locked in. Your son needs an outlet for his anger. Loosing his Dad could be part of his anger and aggression problems.
When he retaliates against you or your daughter when he is punished for hurting her that is his way of lashing out because he can't cope. Because he thinks it funny and you can't cope either, it puts you at witts end. I know from a point of view that you may need therapy also. My husband abandoned me in '91 with two children ages 11 and 12. I thought I was going to go crazy. They stopped going to school and fought all the time. We have been evicted from our home and I had no job. I struggled so. In '82 I was diagnossed Bi-Polar. Life was too hard and I just couldn't cope. I know how it can make you feel like just giving up.
I am here to tell you to BE STRONG and RELY on GOD! You are going to make it! Get your precious ones the help they need and for yourself also. Give them love and lots of it. Ask for help, there are many places you can go for this. Church,family, friends or youth services. mental health facilities. I am not sure in your country what all is available. Check your yellow pages.
The pain and suffering you are doing is actually making things worse for your children. IT ISN'T your fault! YOU ARE SUFFERING. You are having to readjust to not having the loving support of your husband. The children are having to readjust to not have Daddy. It's hard on all of you. I only wish I knew how to help you more.
At home or out in public just try to help your daughter by not taking her to places that fill closed in if you can help it. Take her to places that are filled with joy and open spaces, like a big park or a zoo. Gradually introduce her back into the smaller, confined areas a little at time. Continue to give that Mommy, loving support. I pray that she will grow out of it but I will say that at almost 52 years of age......I am STILL CLAUSTRPHOBIC! No need to worry though cause thru the years I have learned to deal with that too. I have FAITH that your son and daughter will be ok but it may be a long road to travel. Never give up and remember that YOUR HUSBAND IS THERE IN YOUR HEARTS and GOD has HIS WATCHFUL EYES UPON YOU.........HE WILL NOT FAIL IF YOU ONLY BELIEVE!
My best to you and your precious children. There is nothing like a MOTHER'S LOVE and you proved it by posting here asking for help. You are doing a great job already in taking care of GOD'S Precious GIFT to YOU!
God bless,
Blue_Angel
^(**)^
...............................
A
female
reader, oikid11 +, writes (27 December 2008):
 She sounds claustrophobic.
He sounds like he misses his father, so he takes his anger out on his sister or you.
...............................
|
