New here? Register in under one minute   Already a member? Login226340 questions, 984270 answers  

  DearCupid.ORG relationship advice
  Got a relationship, dating, love or sex question? Ask for help!Search
 New Questions Answers . Most Discussed Viewed . Unanswered . Followups . Forums . Top agony aunts . About Us .  Articles  . Sitemap

How do I convince my shy wife to try a threesome?

Tagged as: Sex<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (12 April 2007) 39 Answers - (Newest, 21 April 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I am trying to get my wife to try a threesome. She is a little shy. How can i convince my wife to try it?

View related questions: shy, threesome

<-- Rate this Question

Reply to this Question


Share

Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question!

A male reader, Multipartner dreamer United States +, writes (21 April 2009):

Wow a lot of great responses to this subject. Currently I am having the same 'issues' as A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008. Just taking my time with it. Although recently she had a novasure, so it has been a little over a couple of months and she still is not quite back to sex peak.

I first began having this fantasy at least 4 months ago when I wasnt getting much love and 'action' from my wife. What happened since is that I not have had this fantasy, but I have let it consume me. I have also 'rediscovered' my wife, her beauty, her body, loving her as much as possible, massaging her and caressing her as never before. I think she thinks I am having an affair sometime, although I assure you I am not.

Also since her procedure, we have had threesome fantasy(ies) while having sex, at least MFM ones, and the sex has turned out to be incredible because of these. I have also allowed my wife to play with my ass. Something I have never done before. She also fantasized about me making love with her, and I could see it in her eyes, while having another guy behind me. Not sure If I am game for that, so it was just a nice fantasy during sex. I feel for the one guy whose wife 'set him up' for that one leaving the two of them seperated. It surely must have been a ploy on her part. I have considered this from my wifes thinking as she often mentions if I want another guy, it really is not. I love females and the female body.

I did have a plan once to meet another guy at a hotel and have him invite us up to his room, all planned and payed for by me, but for now the idea has been shelved after someone commented it would be like an ambush.

Like soem of the others who have commented also here, not only did I bring up MFM, but I 'suggested' maybe if it were to happen she could she let me be with another woman too and she watch. NO!. lol She is very possesive of me.

So for now I/we will continue with fantasies and communication. We have talked about swing clubs, although I dont think she is into it, but I think maybe once there, seeing sex and 3somes or moresomes, she might get so horny.

I cant wait for it to happen.

<-- Rate this answer

A male reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2008):

When my wife and i first got together she had mentioned a few times how she would really enjoy eating another girl out while I was doing her (my wife). Of course it turned me on but I had mentioned how it would be nice to have interactions with both of them. It was that point that I probally blew it, as most people say just take it slowly and don't make her feel insecure about the relationship.

We have been together for a while now and openly talk about sex. Recently I have brought it up a couple times with my wife. The first time we were just laying on the couch watching T.V. while I was inside here just relaxing and cuddling. We often watch porno together and go to strippers but at this moment we weren't. I had asked to her to remember when she had told me about her fantasy and she said she did. She said that she doesn't think it would be as appealing as it use be. I believe that with time she has got attatched and not as open. But then I asked if she would ever do it, no rush, and just curious about what her fantasies might be now and how I could please her. She shrugged her shoulders and couldn't come up with anything. I then mentioned that it could be fun and take it on her terms and that I might even allow a MMF to happen. She had said she has never thought about it but I started to talk about how it would be a turn on to see her blowing another guy while i was doing her and possibly vice versa. We ended up having incredible sex there as both of our imaginations were running wild. After sex I had mentioned that she seemed to really enjoy it and she said the sex was great but no threesomes now, maybe in the future.

The a few weeks later I had brought it up again while cuddling in our bed. And asked if she gave it any thought. She had mentioned to me that it is hard to do because one person normally becomes more intimate and that emotions go running wild. She knows from experience cause she has had a threesome before we met, and to be honest Im jealous cause I love her very much but have never done it or half the things she has ever! I told her that for me it would be pretty easy to drop all emotions and leave it at straight sex as I am only in love with her and would just like to please her and fulfill her. She is a very loyal and loving lady and says she's confused about why I would think another man when I wouldn't be happy if she cheated but it would be ok if I was there. I let her know that while I wouldn't like seeing affection, just leaving it at sex and having her kept busy with two of us and to see her enjoying herself was all i was after. She then said she would probally be more comfortable with another woman but thinks I might get to intimate and again the emotions. She said we have to be very secure with each other and maybe in the future. We then started to have sex and talk about it while doing it and again had amazing sex. I made the mistake of bringing it up too soon a few days later and she had asked me why i keep fantasizing about it lately and it seems to be all we talk about. I let her know how into it she gets during sex and am just wanting to please her. Its not that Im trying to obsess on it its just the point of whatever she wants and have made her feel a little more easy about bringing up fantasies with me. She agrees but just wanted to wait a while.

So my conclusion out of this and to all of your stories is that I agree not to push or force. Having a man with her scares me a bit too of her getting to intimate but on the other hand I am willing to do just about anything to please her and make her fantasies come true and keep our relationship exciting. I know she is adventurous but doesn't want to loose me as neither do I want to loose her. And as most of you had said, if there is any doubt don't do it and thats what she has been expressing that all along and obviously has some doubt. But as for now we will just leave it at a fantasy cause honestly just talking about it while engaging with sex with each other is quite hot and very fulfilling!

I would say the best thing anyone can take from this is to be open, trusting and COMMUNICATE with their partner. We will take it from there and who knows what happens. But as I learned communication isn't one sided. Listen, and I do mean fully listen...

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, jwalton Canada +, writes (15 November 2008):

Poor guy posted this more than a year ago. I wanted the the same thing, threesome with my wife and another male.

When I found the right guy, I asked him to prentend as "massues". I mentioned to my wife that I booked a "couples massage", I assured the the guy that I am not gay or bi, and so was he. He is pleasant-looking, well-dressed. He started with her, a sensual rub massage, even teaching me some "massage tricks" (pre-arranged). In few minutes he was already massaging her right breast and I doing her left. We went down to her legs and tighs, we have been accidentally passing through her clit to a point when she doesn't know who's finger was it. Then the guy said it was my turn, she was so turned-on, that she follows whatever the guy said, he was teaching her how to jerk & blow me. Later he asked her to do a body-massage, w/c she uses her body to slide on top of my body with lots of oil. Then he positioned her where he was able to slide my dick inside her. As we were making love, he took his pants off and my wife automaticaly blew him. He wasn't able to fuck her that night...but it was a start.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, CoconutMike United States +, writes (14 August 2008):

Wow! What an abundance of varied answers! Here, today, I've read that this man should feel ashamed for even asking his wife to try, should try "drugs" to relax her, should simply talk to her and do his best to relate to her, and on an on. I'm amazed by the overall negative passion I've read. I'd like to address a couple things, if I may:

1) Dude, you're stupid! Drugging your wife to relax her is NOT the ANSWER, unless you no longer want a wife. Just say "no".

2) Blasting this man and condemming him is not the answer, either. I'm sorry if you had a bad experience on your own. Maybe YOU should have consulted with more friends/forums before you ventured where you obviously didn't belong.

3) Those of you who suggested communication are to be commended! Good, solid marriages are full of this notion. Husband and wife actually sharing their hearts, their desires, their FANTASIES, their loves, their hates, their...EVERYTHING. A woman contributor suggested he should keep it to himself. I disagree completely! The best marriages are between a man and a woman who share everything without reservation. They completely trust each other with everything they are; with their complete beings. If I didn't share my own desire for a FFM relationship with my wife, I wouldn't be living an honest representation of myself. I'd be living a lie. Shame on anyone who suggests a spouse hold back on his/her partner.

I honestly do not recall if we talked about threesomes before we were married. I know it came up along the way somewhere in the last seven years. I shared my desires and opinions. She shared hers. That's the way a healthy relationship works. I also shared my aversion to another man in our relationship. In all fairness, I conceded that because of this objection, I could easily live with never realizing the dream; my fantasy. Fair is fair. In the course of several light-hearted discussions, she's confided that she agrees with me on the overall sensual and sexual appeal of the idea. She finds the thought of a sexual relationship with another woman very appealing and, even, natural. Coincidentally, she also shares my aversion to another man in our lives. Her greatest hesitation comes when she considers the idea of me and the other woman being so close. Here is where I refer to another contributor who thinks alot like I do. My wife is the number one being in my life: forever. No one is allowed to come between us. While this fantasy is very appealing to me and my libido, the top priority in my mind(both heads!) is the absolute sexual ecstasy and satisfaction of my woman. My intention is to share my wife, with our lover, to my wife's complete, exhausted, smiling, panting, sweating happiness. In fact, my efforts are so intended as to make my wife so happy that she invites our lover to my side of the bed out of complete appreciation for the pleasures she's endured! Really guys, can you think of a better way? Make your wife so happy she GIVES you another lover. Yes, I have shared this notion with my wife. She smiled....a really big smile.

My advice to men with the same question: give unto your wife until she gives unto you. Be totally honest with what you want for her and for yourself, then tell her you trust her with everything you are and need. Most of all, be the man. Be the man she needs you to be and and she, if she loves you, will be the woman you need her to be.

There's a lot of really good advice on this out there in a book be David Shade. Google will get you to him. I have the book. It's no joke.

Best of everything to all of you!

Michael

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (9 August 2008):

Bro, that's a very tough sell. We've each had our own threesomes and now that we're married she's really opened up sexually much more so than when we were dating. We talked about it before getting married but she was unsure about my intentions and so it was extremely difficult for her to do that with someone she loved. At the time she was thinking marriage, not threesomes. And here's the big thing bro, women don't think threesomes.

For each of us, when we had our individual experiences, nobody was in love with any of the others involved so it was easy to watch one person having sex with the other. Now that we've built up a wonderful relationship, she's actually been more the aggressor sexually and we've watched movies together of men and women in threesomes while having sex. Try to slowly make VERY VERY VERY GENTLE suggestive comments while you're having sex and she how she responds. Usually in the heat of the moment and right timing a person may really get into some of this fantasizing. But be absolutely fair to her and be open to the idea of bringing another man into the fantasy.

Also be fair in that if you don't want to have anything to do with another man, let her know you don't expect her to do anything with the other woman. Let your wife suck your fingers while you're having sex and don't say anything about it other than to encourage her on while she's doing it. Slowly bring in the idea that she's sucking on another mans penis and she how she responds to that. When you're trying to bring another woman into the fantasy, let her know it's because you want the other woman and you to give all your attention to her (your wife), that you want your wife to feel the touch of two pairs of hands caressing her body, her breasts, kissing her lips, her fingers, her nipples. Tell her it drives you wild to have the help of another woman or man joining with you to give her all the attention a sexy woman like her deserves AND MEAN EVERY WORD OF IT.

Be honest, communicate a lot, start slowly with the suggestive comments but wait until she's nearing orgasm so you can build a bit of an image for her mind to grasp onto. And be open to the idea of bringing another man into this but do it all because you want to give her all of the attention, whether it's another woman or another man joining in. Show her you're not selfish, you're not jealous and most importantly that you love her and are so into her. And last but not least by any means, let her know that this is only something you want to share with her if she wants it and that if she doesn't then you are absolutely ok with that as well.

Good luck.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (30 May 2008):

The solution is easy. Ask your wife to review adult movies for you. Tell her you want her honest opinion. Make sure she watches the movies alone. Start out with her favorite porn and end up with lesbian porn. The more lesbian porn she watches the better your chances will be. Its possible that she will experiment alone so be prepared.Like one of the other posters said "monkey see monkey do". As a psychologist I can guarantee this method will work on most emotionally stable females. If this method doesn't work fast enough, find an escort service and live out your fantasy without your wife.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 May 2008):

Sometimes it's not shyness that stops a woman from commiting to a threesome. She might feel that your relationship is diminished or at stake in some way, and something valuable could be lost by going through with it.

These were some of the responses I got from my wife when I tried to make our Foreplay fantasy become reality.

I assured her that in no way would I allow anything to get in the way of our relationship. We established some boundaries for our first encounter and went ahead with it.

We had a wonderful time a fmf encounter and recently did a mfm encounter that was just as awesome.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 March 2008):

Me and my wife love to go to strip clubs. It really turns her on for the girls to be all over her and we have great sex that night. We have never had a threesome, but I dont think it would take much to get her to do it. I really believe that she wants to try it anyways. Maybe you can see if your wife will go to the strip club with you and see what her reaction is. Tell her it is just for fun.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (17 March 2008):

I really feel that if your wife wanted to- she would, there would be no talking her into it. Have some respect. No means NO!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 February 2008):

My wife told me she loves men but we have never done it, talked once she was mad, that I was giving her away... but she wanted to watch mmf bang videos before sex...obviously is her fantasy, but afraid to act out... it drives me nuts as I am getting really bi curious. Lets do it hun!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (8 February 2008):

Be careful, I worked on my wife for three years until she gave in. The only condition was that she meet the person and it be a surprise to me. Boy was I surprised when it was a guy. She made me go thru with it, and I did as she wanted thinking we could have a women next. She said she wanted to see us perform oral on eachother and then she made me watch them do it for about an hour. When all was done she told me she was leaving me and she hoped I enjoyed our last time having sex. Be careful!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2008):

It is just human nature. We are one of the few species on Earth that are monogomous. Yes, we are intelligent and emotional, which sets us apart from animals. We are still animals, whether we like it or not. Being with more than one person, as long as it is a mutual understanding is fine. But, both must agree. Tell him or her your opinions. Be honest with them, and if they don't agree with you after talking to them then you muct assess whether your relationship is more important than your nature.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2008):

Monkey do what Monkey see. Make new friends who do these type of things. Watch movies with these type of situations. Watch 3 some porn with her. Just make sure she thinks these types of things are normal.

also

Females are very protective over there men. Make her feel confident that your not going to leave her for another woman. Make sure she understands you can't live with out her.

Conclusion:

There is no reason you can't have a successful threesome. I have had one with my wife, it was a dream come true. It took almost two years to prepare everything. We watched threesome porn, she made new friends who were bi-sexual. Her world around her changed how she saw threesomes.

Ignore the other ignorant posters who say this is a bad idea. They live in a world where these type of things are bad. Don't limit your self because the world doesn't agree with your ideas.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (28 December 2007):

Threesomes are a very touchy subject but once successful (and most are NOT) they cum as advertised. My wife and I first tried MFF and then MMF. The strange thing about it was My wife ended up enjoying the other woman and then I ended up enjoying the other man! The experience opened up the floodgates of each of our bisexual tendencies that were hidden for so long. Since then we have ridiculously incredible sex with each other. The experience broadened our horizons in ways we never thought possible. But as most here have posted, if she doesn't want to do it, DON'T! But if she does go ALL the way and you may find you will get more than you ever expected. Who knew she was so good at fem on fem and myself with fellatio?! Cheers and good luck to all!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2007):

Man, if I had the answer to this question I would be a genius!!!! This question is as old as threesomes themselves! It is every guy's fantasy and most women are just too timid to try. If you find the answer then let me know.... I think I am close, I have even got my wife to admit that there is someone she would 'consider' to allow into our sex life, but that is about it. I started by telling my wife to imagine that I was a woman during foreplay, that seemed to get the conversation (and her) going a little.

Let me know if you have any success!!!!

Signed

Still trying

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (25 November 2007):

First off you need to let your wife know that a threesome really is your fantasy, not just something you might say around your buddies. Try this, ask her what her fantasy is. If she replies something to the fact about you specificly, you need to reask the question and say what was her fantasy before she met you. Now you can possibly make her fantasy come true, but now it is time for yours to come true also. If athreesome is what you really want, make sure that you tell her that there is no emotions involved(like kissing)and explain to her it is not just your fantasy, it is most guys fantasy. If you can get her to semi agree, you need to wait for a moment that she and one of her friends are hanging out and try to casually bring it up. Her friend could be the one who would give her the push that she might need. The most important thing is don't rush it and make your girl feel completely comfortable. The first time it may be just her and her friend, the second time maby you can touch both a little, and so on so forth. Believe me it is worth the wait.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (1 November 2007):

Hi there,

My husband has suggested the idea to me as well. He wants to share me with another man, or watch me have sex with another man. My first thought was, if you love me, why would you want another man touching me? It has been about 8 months now, and I still have that same question going through my mind. Wish I could understand why my husband wants me to be USED by a STRANGER for sexual pleasure. If you really love your wife and want to stay married...forget this insane idea....keep the fantasy a fantasy.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (10 September 2007):

What if your husband wants you to have a mfm threesome? I have been finding your answers here to be extremely interesting and helpful. Thank you!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (19 July 2007):

Men and women are different. Many of the people posting here suggest that men should suppress their urges, because their wives do not share them. That's pretty much putting all the sacrifice in the man's court.

It can be argued that somehow, men are being abusive or using when desiring a more exciting and varied sex life, but, it's really a matter of human nature. Men spread their seed and can walk away. Women must commit to the act.

To suggest that women should never make sacrifices in their sex life with their husbands, is actually to deny their husband their instincts and urges. It is just as selfish to ignore a man's desires, as it is for a man to ignore a woman's shyness. A middle ground is the healthy route. Most men, when with a trusting relationship, would never sacrifice it for anything, EXCEPT if they're denied sex on a regular basis. That includes indulging fantasy.

The question you have to ask is. Did your wife know of your interest before you made a commitment? Did she even hint at possibly indulging? If that is the case, then perhaps she's played you wrong by leading you to believe that this was a possibility. If however, she's always been against it, and you married her and are now hoping to change her opinion, then you are definitely in the wrong.

Try not to 'convince your shy wife' into doing something, but rather ask her to explore, and give her freedom to do so at HER pace. However, let her know that you are a sexual being, and require attention in that regard.

I think it's unfair how much women control the sex life in most marriages, and yet feel cheated on, when, well, their husbands seek to find more sex when deprived. And on the flip side, I also think its unfair when a man will consider sex an act solely for the enjoyment of themselves, and will not consider the sexual gratification of their wives.

Life is crazy. Deal with it properly in your own relationships. Good luck everyone.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 July 2007):

my husband and I are on two different pages. I want to separate but don't want to initiate it. He works out of town for weeks at a time so he could if he wanted to. My question is how do I convince him to cheat on me without me giving him permission? Ok i'm a wuss I know but other than not being affectionate with him (no hugs, kisses or sex) what will it take?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (9 July 2007):

that last girl talks alot, threesomes are great but my wife has been into girls for as long as i have so weve been doing it since we met in school

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2007):

It has to be what she wants to do, but a little drug to relax her never hurts! I've been working on mine for years...she has quite crossed that line yet

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (18 April 2007):

Bring the subject of threeways as pillow talk. If she gets off, you have a chance. Try getting her to watch porn with 3-ways. Most important, let her make up her own mind. Dont push it, or you will be jacking off alone.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (14 April 2007):

Simply... it happened to me.. I was persuaded to do this... 15 years ago....I will never get over it... our relationship changed.. we will never be the same......Just because you think this would be excitng for you.. it is not for your wife....The fanticy is way more exciting .. reality sucks. Think about it!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, Dr. Mark Canada +, writes (13 April 2007):

How long have you been talking about it for? How long have you known her for? How long have you been married? How long do you want to stay married? These are all questions that need to be known before a complete answer can be given.

One thing is for certain: Do not nag her about it!! If you keep nagging her, she will end up with a complex, thinking you don't find her attractive, and wondering why you want to have sex with other people. If she were to give in, but because you are nagging, that could spell disaster afterward. There will be feelings of betrayal, guilt, inferiority, etc.

There are two kinds of relationships that seem to be able to have threesomes successfully:

1. Very committed, long term mature relationships that have already had great trusting sexual experiences within that relationship.

2. Early on casual relationships, where each partner is enjoying him/herself, but neither care if the relationship could end shortly.

Hell, even the open-minded Joy of Sex newly revised editions warn that this type of behaviour can spell disaster.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, PoSiOnKiSS United Kingdom +, writes (12 April 2007):

PoSiOnKiSS agony auntif she doesnt want to do it then dont, you shouldnt be wanting to convince your wife to do such sexual acts. if she had said yes then you would have known there and then that she was curious abotu it all and wanted to participate but obviously with you attemtping to convince her you may actually be pushing her away from you. now your wife might feel guilty that shes not good enough for you and you need someone else to help you get your pleasure. talk to your wife and ask her what she wants not what you want. and dont pressure!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, eyeswideopen United States +, writes (12 April 2007):

eyeswideopen agony auntShe said no, keep it a fantasy or you may end up a onesome.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

Trying to persuade someone to have a threesome or have sex with anybody else when unsure is unethical. Marriage is about two people’s love, building a life together and not sharing yourself with another person. Why would you want to have a threesome? Is it that you wife is not good enough or your bored and want to fulfil your seedy sex fantasy’s? Remember their fantasy’s not your wife’s – don’t persuade or even ask her to enter you seedy escapade. Men have a different view about sex than women, for most men its about the turn on and the domination, for women it more sensual, it about the love and affection. Instead of thinking about what you want, talk to your wife. There are other ways to enjoy sex then inviting someone else into the bedroom.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

how would you like your wife to come home and be having an affair or cheated on you?? how would you feel about it??

well you are basicly askin her to cheat on you but saying its ok cos u r taking part... dont force her into anything

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, eddie Canada +, writes (12 April 2007):

eddie agony auntWhy would you want to introduce another guy to your bedroom? I give you credit for being honest about your feelings. Would you do it that way if she requested it?

HMMMM....me thinks not.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

its sick and its a form of cheating and if you had any respect for your wife or even your self you wouldn't do it and I agree with birdy as well

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

comment from another male : been there, done it.Found out true that the fantasy is often so far better than the reality. My advise - dont bother unless you BOTH totally comforable with swinging.More often than not it is because you are bored and if so must be honest with yourself and decide what that means.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, TELLULAH United Kingdom +, writes (12 April 2007):

TELLULAH agony auntHi,

I agree with Birdy, what a great Guy. If only all men were like you............come to think of it a lot are.

Arn't we so lucky girls.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

It's not her shyness, which stops her from doing this, it's a question of her worthiness in your eyes!

If you really love your wife, you would never have such stubid ideas! It's absolutly horrible, what you want to do! It's very much disrespcting your wife! I would leave my husband for a sugestion like thsi!!!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A male reader, DrCynic United States +, writes (12 April 2007):

DrCynic agony auntI'm not going to bore you with a long answer here, my man... It boils down to your wife's moral code... If she doesn't want to do it, she won't, so don't bother...

Might I suggest BDSM or Roleplay instead?

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

Oh my...lol. Birdy, that answer is hilarious. Good one, hun!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, birdynumnums Canada +, writes (12 April 2007):

birdynumnums agony auntI think it's absolutely awesome that you want your wife to have sex with another man! Good for you. I'm sure she'll get over her initial shyness when she sees how hot he is.

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A female reader, chrissy32789 United States +, writes (12 April 2007):

chrissy32789 agony auntDear anonymous writer,

Three sums are alot of mens dreams but alot of ladies downs... Alot of times the lady dont mind having three sums and she may not be shy about it she maybe scared to, she may feel threatend by it where you will leave her or mess around on her with that other lady, our you wont want to have one on one with her any more if you have a real good relationship with your wife honestly i wouldnt bother trying to get her to have a three sum your marriage may go down hill so dont push her into it...and if you are really serious you want this try having her watch porn with 3 sums to give her an idea how it works but dont push her to much well good luck....

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

A reader, anonymous, writes (12 April 2007):

Hun, am I right to assume you want another women (mff) in this threesome? Based on that assumption, if your wife is shy and you need tips on how to convince her to do a threesome, then therein lies the answer to your posting. She likely doesn't want to do it. So please take note of that. In most cases, it is not in a woman’s nature to desire that type of thing. Sadly, some women go along with it to keep a man, or because of her own emotional problems. But sharing their beloved or themselves with others besides their partner, goes against their nature. However, there are cases, that a threesome is just a part of the adventuresome attitude some couples have about sex . But for any experimentations involving other people in your sex life, it will only succeed if the couple usually has a very, very strong commitment to each other. As everyone differs on sexual attitudes, there are some things to think about first.

Just to generalize about all this and this may not apply to you, I do have some thoughts here. Fulfilling certain fantasies by bringing other people into your private sex life is another way of making things interesting and fun-but unfortunately, threesomes are very, very risky. Sex between two married people, is an deep, meaningful emotional adventure for most women. So just make darn she doesn't agree to this simply to 'save' a bored, shaky marriage. because involving other people in your very private sex life can be an emotionally charged experiment that could backfire, on both of you big time. Often one partner becomes a little more involved or enthusiastic and jealousy and insecurities will wreak havoc on your relationship. Depending on your level of self esteem and trust in each other, threesomes could make one of you feel threatened...or maybe not, in your case. If she is not secure in your attraction to her, seeing you attracted to and turned on by another woman could be devastating. Seeing you having sex with another female, may not be as much of a turn on for her, if she is insecure and she could end up, comparing herself unfavorably with the other woman. Is her self-value strong? Her self esteem would need to be able to cope with that.

Just some things to think about. Make sure to talk openly, lovingly and honestly with her on this. Make sure to do the same with the other person you want in this threesome and lay all your cards on the table. Make sure you all practice safe sex. But most of all...make absolutely sure 'she' wants to do this. All I have to stress, is if she is having any doubts whatsoever...don't do it! Be very careful. It could mess up your relationship and you'll end up 'blowing up your marriage" to smithereens!

<-- Rate this answer

...............................   

Add your answer to the question "How do I convince my shy wife to try a threesome?"

Already have an account? Login first
Don't have an account? Register in under one minute and get your own agony aunt column - recommended!

All Content Copyright (C) DearCupid.ORG 2004-2008 - we actively monitor for copyright theft

0.078125!